Love Is Picky

Love Can Come And Go

Have you ever had that feeling when you pass somebody in the hallway and all of the sudden you find out you love that person, just based on his/her appearance. It's amazing how your mind suddenly conjures up a fantasy life in the few seconds you see that person in the hallway and then when you pass that person, you don't like him/her anymore. It's weird right? I'm not going to hide anything, and I'm just going to put it out there that this has happened to me so many times over the past few days. But it's the same thing. I pass somebody in the hallway, and it's over in a second.

As of now? Well, there's one person on my mind. I'm not sure of my feelings for her, but I don't know. She stands out. Love is kind of like a grenade. You know you want to poke it and experiment with it, but you're afraid of getting hurt.

Collaboration Blog

So Tyler and I have started up our co-op blog for a while now and I'd say it's running pretty well. We don't really have that much of an audience now and probably over half of the views are from me (since I didn't place a cookie that wouldn't track my views, but I'll do that right after this). I just wish we could get our blog out to a wider audience.

People just haven't seen the type of blogging that Tyler and I do simply because they think we're inexperienced and new bloggers. I can only hope that it will only be a little bit of time until somebody who I don't know actually finds my blog.

Anyways, I missed a post (don't know how that happened) and now I'm awaiting a punishment. Tyler says he's going to come up with one by the 30, so I can't wait to see what could take so long for him to think up.

Life Is Bitter Sweet

I'm enjoying life right now. Rugby is really awesome and I can't wait for our first game of the season. High school is truly going to be the best years of my young life.

Today I'm a 9. I feel pretty good about life overall and everything is just running smoothly. Nothing really is bugging me except for the fact that I do know that it will be hard to make really good and true friends at this school.

"I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said, "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded." - Iris from The Holiday

God, This Is Going To Be A Filled Post

Catching Up

First of all, I realize I have not mentioned on this blog that I did not make it into the Junior Boys Soccer team (better luck next year?). Second of all, I have joined the rugby team (which needs more grade eights or else we're playing against the grade nines). I had a really good practice today, and I think I'm going to enjoy rugby.

Another bit of news is that tomorrow there is a welcome back barbecue at Begbie and I might go. It sounds like a really good time. It will be cool to see some old friends and maybe meet some new people.

I've also started finally understanding web design and my next little side project is to redesign The Epicosity Guys site with my spare time. Most of my time will be spent on learning PHP and MySQL while also working on building the foundation for my company.

Unravelling The Spool Of High School

After spending a week or two at Alpha, I have discovered what really is important to most, if not all the students in a high school. Reputation. People build their high school lives on reputation. So what I'm saying is that without friends, you can't live a "happy" high school life.

Me? I don't really care about this. Reputation means nothing to me currently. If I somehow manage to salvage a reputation in Alpha, then I'll use the limited amount of power I have to turn the school around for the better. Be friends with all the "nerds" and "geeks" while spending minimal amount of time with the "popular" kids to maintain a good reputation.

But for now, I'm fine with the friends I've made.

Types Of People

In high school, you meet different types of people. You meet the nerds, geeks, bookworms, popular kids, the silent students, everybody. However, here are the types of people that I've noticed a lot.

The first person is the tool holder. This person flirts with the opposite gender and then uses the other person as a homework study tool or just for their own selfish needs. Then they throw the person away like a dirty rag and ignore it for the rest of their lives.

The second type of person is the conflicting personalities. This person focuses a lot in school and during class but fools around a whole bunch when it's not class time. I guess I'm kind of this person, but I do the fooling around almost all the time.

Well, Goodbye

I'm going to start getting ready for bed. Kind of weird that I spend about an hour getting ready for bed.

Anyways, I'm a 9 today. I'm feeling pretty good overall in life.

"Do all things with love." - Og Mandino

Independent

Sometimes I Wish

Whenever my parents, guardian, or whoever is taking care of me, gets mad at me, I just wish I was living by myself. For example, my mom has lately taken to threatening to take away my laptop because I've been on it way too much. Now, I'm not saying that I never go on the computer, or that she's wrong (in fact, far from that), but what really bugs me is that she thinks that I'm not able to take care of my school work. This upsets me because my mom (and not only her) think that I can't manage my own school work and that I would pick the computer over school. It bothers me because I believe in her mind I'm a lazy person who is reckless.

If I was living by myself, or in a dorm, away from home, whatever, I'd take care of myself. Parents, you always think that your children don't like to eat vegetables (I don't mean to say that ALL parents think this, but you have to admit the majority do), and the thing is, we won't eat them until we first learn their benefits and until we can eat them by ourselves. You see, imagine if I was at home, eating dinner. I would not eat vegetables because my parents would "force" me to and simply because I don't enjoy most vegetables. Now, if I was living by myself, I would always make sure I get my daily requirement of vegetables and all other food groups because I am responsible for MY OWN health.

So parents, do your children a favour and let them have some responsibility over the choices in life. You may think they don't know what they're doing, but they will rise to the occasional and show you that they are truly independent.

To clear up things, I don't mean children as in toddlers and six and under. I mean like teenagers. Give them a bit of responsibility. It'll really help build their character.

Most Parents Don't Understand

I find it more and more true that parents these days don't understand why we use the computer. My parents and guardians think it's a waste of time and always believe I'm gaming. They don't realize the vast knowledge, and experience a computer (more so the internet) can provide.

I'm almost certain that if I grow up (we should really say "if I grow up" instead of "when I grow up" because we don't know if we will grow up because we might just die) and have children, I will LET them use the computer. Instead though, I will actually understand and connect to my children. I'm not saying that I'll allow my future children to play games all day. I'm saying that I will let them do what they want, so long as it does not interfere with the things that will allow them to lead a healthy and successful life.

Funny, I Always Enjoy The Future

Almost everyday I always think about the future. This is probably because of past experiences in life where I didn't think before speaking and messed up some stuff. I guess those experiences made my mind always think ahead in most situations. I find this habit to be largely useful at most times. It also gives me things to think about.

Well, goodbye for now. It's just a bit past half of the day, so I can't truly say what I'm feeling for the day overall since it isn't near to being finished. For now though, I'm pretty cool with what's going on right now, but there's always that stuff that lurks behind. I'm a 8.

"Enjoy and think about the future. You'll find it helps." - Kevin Zou

Uhhh... No Title

If I Had To Choose

If I had to choose between having the world see my blog and finding out what happens in the after life, I would definitely choose having my blog be a really popular thing. In fact, if I was offered to find out what happens in the after life, I would refuse. I would refuse because I want to have the satisfaction of finding out instead of just knowing. For example, you don't want somebody to spoil the latest episode of your favourite show (unless you don't really care about that), you want to find out by yourself.

Fun Day

I had a pretty awesome day today. I walked over to Begbie and met up with some friends. We chatted and screwed around for a while, but in the end we ended up going over to Ray's house.

Mr. Rowland and Mr. Wilson were the coaches for the soccer team and it just so happened I went on game day. So when they came back, Mr. Rowland was in bit of shock that I was there (and I was too, although Mr. Wilson totally showed no emotion, like always) and we kind of reunited and had a very brief chat.

Anyways, I'm heading over there on Friday (just because it's a professional development day) to visit some friends and see how Mr. Rowland is running his class these days. I'm also going to head to Begbie again next Wednesday for the welcoming barbecue. That's probably going to be it though, but I might see some friends at the next soccer game for Alpha (I'm either going to be watching or playing, but I'll be there). As of now, I don't know who the game is against, where it is, and if I even made the team, but I should know all of that by next week.

I Will Not Be Cruel

If a girl has feelings for me, and I'm single (as I am right now), I will definitely not date her just for the status. I would never do that to a girl. That's just really cruel. Dating a girl who you have no feelings for to gain a object. I don't know why I bring this up now though.

Practice Tomorrow

I've got a soccer practice tomorrow (the second last one), so more blisters and sores for me. Hopefully I'll be able to get into the team.

Today I'm a 9. I feel excellent and I'm awaiting the long weekend that's coming up.

"Every moment and every event of every man's life on earth plants something in his soul." - Thomas Merton

Looks Like I'm Wrong

I Was Wrong

It turns out that I'm not OFFICIALLY on the Junior Boys Soccer team, simply because I had mistaken the last try out to really be the last one. It turns out it wasn't. Anyways, I had a really good practice today (one goal and one assist) and I'm looking forward to the next two practice try out days (Thursday and Monday). I think that the coach said that the list of who made the cuts would be put up on Monday or Tuesday.

I've got a bit of problem going on. I really want to play with the Junior Boys Soccer team, but I also want to play grade eight rugby. The thing is, both coaches are okay with me in both teams, but the problem is, which team do I devote more of my work ethic to? I guess I'm just waiting for time to give me the answer. The truth is that if I get more playing time with the Junior Boys Soccer, then I'll probably focus on that more than rugby. But if I'm just a bench warmer, then there's no way I'm going to ignore rugby.

Well, the next few days will be rough for me.

Life Is All Good

I'm fairly up to date on school work and I've finally got a nice day plan going on. I don't have to worry about my work piling up any more now.

The future looks mildly successful for me and my newest business partner, Tamac (I hope I spelt that right). Together we're looking to create a highly profitable website/company together. I know it doesn't sound realistic, but I think we might actually get somewhere with this idea.

Who knows? Maybe we will be millionaires one day.

Time To Go

It's time for me to close up this session of blogging. Tyler didn't reach the word quota on our co-op blog, so that means that I get to choose a punishment. I don't know what I'm going to make the poor guy do, but I'll be sure to document it in some way. Maybe I'll even go with him, just to be assured that he does complete the task at hand.

For today, my number is a good and nice 9. I'm feeling quite well right now and I think that I'm pretty much riding smoothly through the ocean we call life.

"The winds and waves are calm now, but be assured, in at least one point of your voyage you will be hit by the wrath of the gods out in sea." - Kevin Zou

It's Going To Be A Great Season

Easy Entry

So it turns out (after the try outs today) that there was no need for cuts. Nobody would be cut from the team. The coach actually had the exact amount of players he wanted, but he noted that if something happened during the season, he would cut.

But the good thing is that I'm actually in the team right now. I just need to practise and show the coach that I'm not one of those people he wants to cut from the team.

I can't wait for my first game. They say that last year's team was really bad, but they have high hopes for this year. The game dates haven't been set (basically EVERYTHING hasn't been set), but the first game is coming up soon. I've got practises at 3:20PM at Confederation Park, so I've got some physical activities on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Prioritizing Day Tomorrow.

I've been holding off prioritizing things in life for a while and I think I'm going to get that over and done with tomorrow early morning.

I'm a 10 today. Really high spirits since I got into the team. Life seems to be going along with a few bumps, but the road is mostly smooth. Hamza left today, without going to school. It appears that he had to go early and couldn't go to school. I'll miss him as a good friend.

"We play to have fun, but by human nature, we also play to win." - Kevin Zou

Discovery

If Only I Was Found

I wonder what people would REALLY think of me if they actually found, read, and understood this blog. Would they still like me, or would they despise me? I don't care. As long as I can continue writing this blog and be my unique self, that's good enough. The thing is, my blog doesn't have ANY way of getting known except for being passed on from person to person. So if you have been reading my blog for a while and you want to help me out, you can do several things. First of all, you can become a member on this blog (it'll really help out with support) and the second thing you can do is just simply spread the word about my blog.

To get ready for my imaginary river of people heading into my blog, I will possibly change the design of the blog, the font, the format, and everything else (just because I don't like the style of this blog, but the theme I want is being used by my co-op blog). So please help out. Become a member or just spread the word.

Final Try Outs Tomorrow

The last try out was pretty good, in terms of how well I did as a grade eight. To quickly run through through what happened in the try outs on Wednesday, I'll just say I went there, got a shot on net (better than most grade eights, some who didn't even get a touch on the ball), and left feeling kind of bad about myself.

I felt bad and disappointed because I knew I hadn't given my all. I could have done certain things better (for one thing I could have actually gone in the proper soccer uniform and equipment) and I just can't help but feel that this is an opportunity lost.

So, tomorrow I'm going to head out onto the pitch with my proper uniform and equipment and I'm going to show them how good I am. And hey, if I make the team, it will just encourage me to start getting more fit and athletic.

Things Are Going Well

I still haven't gotten a day plan made yet (I keep on holding it off), and there's a bunch of little things I need to do, but once that's all cleared up, it'll be okay (just like acne). I've made a lot of cool friends at Alpha, but one of them, Hamza, is leaving tomorrow to transfer to another school in Surrey. It's really sad to see that I've made such a good friend just to loose him so soon.

On a more optimistic point of view in terms of how my plans are going, I've acquired a new business partner. His name is Tamac and I just can't help but feel that one day we will both be very successful. That's how dreams, goals, and plans all are. You lay down some ground plans, work your way there, and finish off by topping the whole thing.

Well, Good Night

It's getting a bit late right now and I need to be up early and ready for the try outs tomorrow, so I'm going to bed. It's been a REALLY long day.

To be honest, I'm a bit worried about things, but not TOO many things. So I'm a 7. I'm not glum or anything, it's just I don't feel the privilege to be a 8 or higher. Huh. It's been a while since I've been on top of everything and feeling confident about myself and life. High school changes you.

"The smile of discovery." - Kevin Zou

9/11

11 Years Ago, The World Changed

The reason why airport security is so tight these days is because of one day. September 11, 2001. The two twin towers collapsed because of several hijacked planes and it was definitely a turning point of airport security. A lot of people were injured and lost loved ones. May they all rest in peace and know I send my regards to them.

Projects Again .__.

KevinTherapy™ is still going on and my first session is scheduled for tomorrow at 6:00PM. I've also got a session with another person on Saturday in the afternoon or evening, so I guess this project is running alright. Not sure if it will actually become a real thing I can profit off of.

I'm still working on a gaming montage (just me messing around with Premiere Pro), but it looks like I won't really need any more footage to finish off the video. I'm kind of stuck between two songs for the video, so I might just release both videos with both songs to the public and let them vote.

Junior Boys Soccer Try Outs Tomorrow

Tomorrow I'm going to try out for the Junior Boys Soccer team (which goes from grade eight to grade 10) after school. I really wish I can make it as a mid fielder, but I'm okay with anything, as long as I get into the team. I think if I get into the team, it will be as a defender or goalie. Possibly a mid fielder, but no way I'm going to be up as a forward (unless somehow this year Alpha's team is bad).

I was talking to my friend on Facebook and he recommended I join the ICSF league as a defender next year. I might think about that a bit.

Well, Goodbye For Now

Wish me luck on the try outs tomorrow. Hopefully I'll be able to get into the team.

I'm a 10. Highly optimistic about my chances of getting into the team. Maybe that's a good thing though.

"Life is a mystery." - Kevin Zou

Time For A Little Celebratory Post

8000 Views!

Hey, look, here is some original celebratory wallpaper (FINALLY a photo). Well, to be correct, this blog now has over 8000 views in total. I've done a little math, and if I had exactly 8000 views in total, that would bring me to about 44 views every post. Thanks to all of you guys who have stuck with me through thick and thin and for new people who have joined me on my journey. As of now, I do have a list of people who visit this blog often. We've got Tyler Hadden (writer and owner of The Fault In Our People), Karina Löffler, Amanda Burdge, Lina Jew, Michael Jew (his old and outdated blog, The Good, the Bad, and the... Michael Jew), and Alec Lee (works on a MCAT prep site called MCATQuestionADay and is co-founder of Lee Siminov Servies) A lot of them are my relatives and the rest are close and/or good friends.

So, thanks for sticking around for a major part of my life and watching me develop from a struggling blogger (check this post out) to what I have become now. Amazing to see it's been 376 days since I first started this blog. A year and 10 days. Whoops. Looks like I missed the celebration of one full year of blogging. Oh well. We'll just do it next year. Yep. Another year of awesomeness.

See, We (Tyler And I) Just Need To Be Found

So my blog was found by Lina Le after she was scrolling through the News Feed on Facebook and found a link to my blog. I guess she decided to try my blog and it turned out that she thought that it was pretty cool. Not sure if she reads my blog on a daily basis though. The type of person also matters. If it's a teenager in grade twelve who thinks he/she is all that, then no way this blog will truly reach what it means to others who actually understand what I'm talking about.

My viewer base is slowly growing. Hmmm... I wonder if high school will bring on a higher fan base. Maybe things will actually turn out a lot better than I expected and this blog will pass its expectations.

Somebody please find me.

I'll Try Not To Talk With No Purpose

The main objective of this blog is to send a message true and clear to anybody who reads it. That's what the real message has been, but I stray away from that mission and just simply talk about my day and things that have no purpose and usefulness in the universe (unless for some reason a secret agency is keeping tabs on me).

Now that I have seen "a great deal more" of life and have experienced it, I feel fit and right to be able to talk about wise and mysterious things without making a fool of myself. So, this post won't really have anything wise-man like, but rest assured, the next post will probably include something like that.

Here Goes To Another Year Of Awesomeness

I know that this year anniversary thing is 10 days late, but for the heck of it, let's just pretend it's August 31, 2012, one year from the date of my first post. Who ever thought I would get this far? Let me tell you, this blog has been a PLEASURE, not a BURDEN to write. It's an absolute joy to write, express, and ultimately let the world know the inner Kevin.

Feel really good about myself. I've got a good steady plan for the next few days going and nothing bad should come up on the horizon. Therefore, I am a 10. As Alec says, the next few years of my life will be extremely bumpy and harsh on me. But of course, there are the places where it's smooth sailing for a while.

"Friend: Would you go through hell and lose everything to stay with a person you loved?
Me: No, because if I loved that person that much, she would love me back that much too. And if she loved me that much, she wouldn't make me go through hell and lose everything just for her. She would just break up with me and refuse to let me suffer. That's what true love is." - Kevin Zou talking to a friend

Raymond Just Needs To Get It

Raymond Just Doesn't Get It

I know it's highly unreasonable of me to have such high expectations of my brother, simply because I know he hasn't experienced the things in life that I have.

Let me clarify what happened. Raymond and I got into an argument because he was violating a deal (where if he was silent for a car ride I would play a certain game with him). So after he broke the deal, I said, "Okay, the deal's off." Then he starts whining in the car and starts pissing me off and eventually I make another deal with him, mostly out of pity. On the car ride back, he was supposed to be silent. However, he breaks this again, after "promising" not to break another deal and he starts being whiny again.

The thing is, I expect Raymond to know the things that I have learned, but as I said before at the start, that is unreasonable of me. However, I just can't help but think that sometimes Raymond is incredibly foolish. He doesn't know when to stop when he has lost a fight. He also does not know when to stop when asking for something. I don't mean like he can't stop asking for more of a certain food or something, but when something is given to him, he doesn't accept it. Instead of being grateful and thankful for the gift, he demands for more. An example is when I said I would play with him for 20 minutes. Raymond started whining again and demanded to get 25 minutes. Now he's moping around the house making everybody pissed off.

Raymond just doesn't know when to stop. He has so much to learn. He also has to learn that whining doesn't get you places. You have to work hard and earn to get things.

Earphones, Thank You

Sometimes, when I'm pissed off at myself or somebody or something, I have nothing to take out my anger on. So I take out the anger on myself. I put on a pair of uncomfortable earphones for more or less than half an hour and when I take them off, my ears and pounding and so uncomfortable that I momentarily forget things for a while until they recover.

Thanks to you earphones, I can slip away to a sanctuary of quietness and peace.

I really wish I had something to take out anger on or somebody to explain all my anger to. I miss the people who I can actually talk, explain, and relate to.

My ears are starting to hurt. Awesome (I mean that in a good way, not sarcastically).

Going To Get Ready For Blissful Sleep

The great thing about sleep is that once you slip into it, you fall into a different world. It doesn't matter if your life is really good or just plain bad, you just get into a different world. You have dreams relevant to previous ones, dreams that relate to your day, or just plain old random dreams. When you wake up in the morning from sleep and rub the sleep from your eyes, you momentarily forget everything and just take a while to get your bearings and what you have to do for the day. Two things I love. Uncomfortable earphones and sleep. Include school in that list now to think of it.

I'm a lowly 6 today. I've just got some weird things running through my mind. I should have really finished my homework, but thanks to my procrastinating self, I'm going to hold it off until tomorrow (and even then, it's still not due for a while). Tomorrow is a day when I get stuff done. Weekends tend to be a lay-back-and-relax period of time and I get incredibly lazy. It's the school days where I'm active and sharp eyed. I need to get my life organized and prioritized. If only it was that easy.

"Pain can be a good thing. It is simple. Pain, if used carefully and in watched doses, can make a person feel better. Much better. Simply because the person just loses sight of everything for a second and can only focus on the pain. It is also effective afterwards, because when you have been hurt enough, everything else seems better." - Kevin Zou

Single

So, I'm Single, But... Whatever

I'm single once again (don't even know if I should be even old enough NOT to be single). But, sometimes things happen for a reason. Maybe I wasn't cut out for to be romantic. Well, at least not for now. People always say this and then end up breaking it, but who cares. I'm totally going to focus on school and education right now and I won't ever be in a relationship again.

Ah. Young love.

Bad First Impression

So, there are a few different type of visitors right now. There could be the usual visitor (usually Tyler, Karina, Cecily, Amanda, Alec, Lina, and Michael), a random visitor (who just happened to stumble upon my site). Then again, it could also be my Discovery Humanities 8 teacher. Let me elaborate.

Last Humanities class (or something along the lines of that), we were assigned to just express ourselves on paper and hand it into the teacher in a letter kind of like piece of homework. Anyways, I did note that I thoroughly enjoyed creating websites and anything to do in the computer field of work, and I sort of blurted out at the end of the "letter" that I had a blog. So, if my teacher does read this, then welcome to Kevin Zou's blog of whimsical and magical things. I hope you enjoy your time here and visit again (this goes for any new visitors too). Let our wild journey begin.

Features Of My Blog

This blog is purely 100% just on the spot. I never put any thought before hand (and if I do, it's simply a mental note to write about a subject, I don't pre-write my posts), therefore my blog has an authentic and unique feel to it. Kind of like 100% pure cocoa beans.

I take a lot of pride in my blog (especially since my blog has more views than my music teacher's XD) and I put a lot of effort and work into it. It's not some assignment I dread to do. I love blogging and I hope that I will continue to blog until I die (by the time I'm too old to type, I'll just hire somebody).

There will be silly things here. I tend to blather on about things that are not very useful on this blog and have a knack for just simply blogging my day, when the day has been boring and I need a post up. I don't really have a strict schedule as to when I must put up a new post, but I try to put one up every two or three days.

Along with just getting to know the real me, you also learn some things that I call "public secrets". Simply put, those are just pieces of gossip of my life in this blog. I don't tell them to my friends, so if you read my blog, then you've got a nice little advantage of knowing exactly what may just be running through my love life, school work, or anything.

Not filtered. That's another word to explain this little project I've got going on. I never filter my ideas. I'm not afraid to say anything (although I must sadly admit that our generation has not hit that level of security and independence) on this blog unless I deem it completely worthless.

Speaking Of Our Generation

High school is really helping me out with putting more content into my blog. I see and experience new things at Alpha every single day. Some may be eye opening (and not just in the good way), some may be frightening (also not in the good way), and some may just be plain cool. Here are a few things I realized about high school.

One, it seems like to get through high school, you need a really well connected group of friends. In other words, popularity is happiness. It's a shame that our current world thinks like this. But then again, this is just my assumptions, and my assumptions have a 50% chance of turning out wrong.

Secondly, people act really stupid and reckless just to try and impress their friends. I saw a kid (well, we're technically all the same grade) who was just running around the band room and he was being completely and utterly stupid (no offence). Every now and then he would bang his hands on the piano and just do outrageous things. Every time he finished his little skit, he would look at his friend to see approval. It's sad to see that happen.

The last thing I'm going to talk about is the people there. Higher grades are really intimidating. For us grade 8's, it's super scary to try and steer your way in the halls between a bunch of students who tower above you and have passed puberty. Some of the more experienced students (sad to say little though) help us out (locker combinations, where to find a room) without being asked. Some students need urging to help us out, while there are just some students who are too intimidating to ask for help. I'm sure if I asked a six foot Alpha student in grade 12 where to find a room, he/she would help out. It's just the fact that most people don't have that type of courage to do that. So they stick with friends and try to navigate their way to classes.

That Was A Lot

I've completed my little rant on high school (not just Alpha), and I'm completely out of "word breath". Life is getting better. I'm growing accustomed to Alpha's halls and I think I'm really going to enjoy my time here.

For today, I would say I'm a 9. It's really because I just don't have anything bad in life going on. Also, T.G.I.F. I've been waiting for a break to reflect on my days in school and think about new ways to get through the halls, find a spot to eat lunch, and just other stuff like that.

"One of the best feelings in the world is after you've just accomplished or completed something." - Kevin Zou

Death.

Goodbye Pinky

Even though I've never seen Mr. Rowland's dog, and have only heard Mr. Rowland ranting on about how great they were and how wonderful they were, I still feel the loss very strongly. Not only because Mr. Rowland is losing something big in his life, but because a life has departed from this earth. Pinky was a dog. I don't remember what breed, and I'm incredibly remorseful that I don't, because I know I will never be able to ask Mr. Rowland about Pinky again.

I can't imagine how this must affect Mr. Rowland. He's such a jolly and cheerful teacher, I don't know how he would react to this. I can only hope that he is given time to grieve and that a substitute teacher will be taking over for the time being.

Pinky was hit by a car. Whoever was reckless enough to not be watching the road... I don't know. I can't even express the words for this.

I never knew the dog, yet I still feel loss badly.

Death Is Upon Us

A lot of people are talking about the death, as friends say. I don't know how I didn't find out. Mr. Rowland, if you're reading this (although I don't think that you are even aware of this blog), then know that my respects go to you, your family and Pinky.

I'm a 0. This is horrible. It seems fate has a fickle way of choosing its unlucky and lucky.

"Parting is such sweet sorrow." - William Shakespeare

R.I.P. Pinky

Different Than I Expected

High School Was Truly Amazing

I explained a lot of my day in high school in my new blog that's being written by Tyler and I as co-editors. In fact, you can check out the new blog here. Anyways, I'll just very briefly run through my day today.

It turns out that during my initial meeting with the vice principal I had selected my courses. The one little thing that bugs me is that my past self had selected Fine Arts 8 over Band 8 (or it might have been an accident, I don't know how I could have made that choice). Anyways, I got my home room, locker, agenda, and I'm all ready and set for the next epic five years of my life.

MORE Digital Art

So I've been fiddling around with Fireworks more than Photoshop lately and I've decided to preview my latest piece of art here on my blog (as I always do). This time I've created this desktop wallpaper in celebration of my enrolment at Alpha Secondary.

I'm willing to create more school themed desktop wallpapers (I know, I'm such a traitor) for other people (more specifically, my friends from Vancouver Technical over in Vancouver) that I know, but I'm getting tired of just making boring wallpapers. It's time to step it up a notch and bring in the dynamic. The next piece of original artwork here will be great. I'm going to commit way more time to it than most projects.

Talking Of Projects

In the light of projects, I've decided to give a few updates on the projects I'm currently working on. It turns out that we will not be making a 3D Settlers of Catan board, but instead just a simple 2D one (but when you think about it, life itself is 3D). The recreation of the board game is currently in beta, but the game is fully playable as of now. We just got some wood the other day, so we'll be making the sea port frames soon and permanent hexes with better cards and number chips (I wouldn't be surprised if nobody understood this, because I don't know any friends who play Settlers of Catan).

The troll story site has been officially deemed closed and shut down for further work. I found out it would be way to hard to work on the site alone while guaranteeing one new story every week. So I shut it down. It wasn't a very elaborate or well laid out plan anyways.

The rabbit hutch and smoke house are in the VERY distant future. It doesn't look like it will be any time soon  when we actually manage to find time together to build the hutch. And the rabbit hutch would be further down in the priority list, so the smoke house won't even come until we get the rabbit hutch finished.

Custom typography desktop wallpaper sounds like it won't be happening. But who knows? I may just do it in my spare time.

Online book? I left it on a computer in Michigan. I'm currently asking my cousin, Lina, to send the folder to me. I haven't written it in a while, but if looks like the book will still be published online as a work-in-progress site. Sort of like a blog, except it's a book.

I've also got a very long term project going on. I have arranged for a group of my techy (shouldn't use that word anymore) friends to start learning a specific skill outside of basic HTML and CSS. For example, they can learn PHP (which would be extremely useful), or just do design. I don't care. As long as they know one unique skill. Over the months, I will try to "collect" more people. In hopefully what will be one full year, I will have enough knowledge and experience in the group to create a small company.

Content With Life

I am very content with life. Incredibly content and happy with my life right now. I'm headed in the right track, as far as I'm concerned. I'm going to set things right in life. I brushed some dirt off my grave with a few friends, so I'm also pretty satisfied with my life. Hopefully I'll start working out to get in good shape. I'm also looking to try and sleep earlier, as sleep always does people good.

Today I am a 9. I have no bad things lurking on my mind and I can perfectly say I would be happy to live in this time frame of life. Looks like things are going really well for me. Really well.

"Old love is eternal love. Young love is bitter sweet love." - Kevin Zou

Never Ending Pit Of Despair

I Feel Helpless

To be realistic, the only people who really read my blog are little more than three or so people. But for those people who do, they have the benefits of knowing things I do not dare utter in life. Here are one of those things. I am sure one day I will remember this post or rewrite it on some sort of essay that orders me to write one of my most frightening moments in life though. These past few days have been dreadful for me.

Like any days can be when a day that will turn your life is close by.

I'm Stupid

No, I'm really serious. I'm so stupid. I don't know anything about high school. I don't have people who can help me along the way and I spent half of my summer in Michigan. Those are my weak excuses as to why I did not hand in my course selection form to Alpha.

I'm really stupid.

So, I don't know what's going to happen to me. The worse case scenario is I don't even go to high school at all. A reasonable outcome would be that I don't pick my courses. A really awesome outcome would be that I get a by and get my courses.

Of course, I don't know what to expect, with my limited experience and knowledge.

Reflecting On Memories

Today I looked back at my photos, grade six and seven work, everything that involved school. And then I finally realized I would never be able to do those things again. Never. I probably never touch a cello in high school. I'm scared. I'm really scared.

I Feel Like Swearing

I really feel like just shouting swears at nobody for an hour.

I'm a 2.

"Life can be unbearable and bearable." - Kevin Zou

I'm Going To Miss Everybody.

Why Does This Have To Happen?

I don't know what type of destiny or fate that life has for me, but it is one largely without the support of my peers from the graduation class of 2011/2012.

I'm so pissed off that I have to start a new life, a new identity, a new school, a new everything, while everybody is off skipping through life with the rest of the friends that I knew.

I'm just really mad.

I realized this when I was scrolling through my friend's posts. I was just looking through all of the posts and I saw friends gathering meet ups (lunch, stuff like that), preparing for school, posting time periods and I realized that I wouldn't be a part of that.

What I think I'm really mad about is that I'm afraid that all these people, the people who had established as their friend are going to forget me. But they can't? Come on. They won't forget me. I'm just afraid that they will.

Starting To Get Interested In Graphic Art

So I already talked a bit about me leaning from coding to graphic arts (such as video editing, effects, making graphic pictures, stuff like that). I'm looking forward to a high school life of doing that. I just love what I do. I'm glad I will probably get a chance to learn PHP and C++ in high school and other coding that will actually help me create a very nice site or production company. Something along those lines?

Anyways, the picture here (as you can see in the bottom right) was made by me. To be specific, I added the rainbow gradient to the smoke (which was taken online) and the text.

My... Special Friend

I do have this special friend who I've been very quiet about these last few posts. She (that's right, I'm talking about a girl) is stunningly beautiful. She is smart, she is funny, she's just awesome in every aspect and way. I couldn't be luckier. She keeps me from falling and hitting the floors of the past and is always there for me. I can relate a lot to her and I think that I'm the one who is getting the most benefit out of both of us.

Sometimes it feels she doesn't know that I truly care for her. I try to emphasis it every time I talk to her. But hey, I'm already lucky enough.

She reads my blog, even though it is probably the most dreadful one in the world, and keeps everything good. She keeps me from doing things that would be irrational and encourages me to push to my limits and be a good leader.

And that girl's name is Karina Löffler.

I'm Done For Today

I've finished this blog post. We are nearing 200. Huh. It's been that long. Sometimes I wonder, if when I'm famous one day, viewers will be flocking to my blog to read about my childhood and rise to fame. Sometimes I just wonder.

Today I'm a 8. I'm super apprehensive about high school (which comes in two days), but excited for it. Tyler and I are finally starting on our collaboration blog, so that's also another project to add to the list.

"It's not about what it is, it's about what is can become." - Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

It's Been A Wild Ride

Back From Michigan, In Vancouver

It's nice to finally be back home and I'm planning a lot of meet ups with close and lost friends. I'm really enjoying life right now. Yesterday I headed over to Surrey and got to check out their new library branch (I believe it's called Central or something). I borrowed a lot of books on graphic arts (which I'm really starting to love) and even a compendium of The Walking Dead comics. To be really specific, I got books on dramatic effects in Photoshop, a classroom in a book about Fireworks, and a nice book about After Effects. I can't wait to get cracking on those books, especially the Fireworks one (I guess I'm leaning from coding to graphic arts).

Really glad I got to go to Michigan and the United States overall. I learned a lot of things there that I'm sure I will really benefit from in life. It's just a few more days until school is here though, so I'm also apprehensive about that.

Projects I'm Starting

I'm starting quite a few projects. I'm going to replicate The Settlers Of Catan in a 3D wooden version, build a rabbit hutch, possibly construct a smoke house, start a new website this time with actual foundation and goals planned, and overall, enjoy life. Mini projects I consider worthwhile to tell include a custom typography desktop background. I'm also looking to work out on a daily basis. I also started an online book that I'm planning to release publicly as a work in progress.

I'm just excited to get a chance to refresh and put everything that I disliked in the past.

I've Been Waiting To Breathe

It seems these past days I've just been holding my breath in. It's nice to be able to finally share everything that's been going on. To summarize my Michigan trip, I travelled to Chicago, West Bloomfield, Detroit, Jersey City, New York, Ottawa, Windsor, and Denver. Most of my time was spent in Michigan while I also spent three days in New York and two nights in Ottawa. I met a lot of new people and had loads of adventures. I did a series of recreational activities, such as fishing, canoeing, starting fires, smoking salmon, and swimming (not to mention night swimming, a completely epic experience where you go out at midnight to swim). My skin is riddled with mosquito bites and I've gained a few pounds. There. That's 20 days of my vacation packed into a paragraph.

I'm a 10. I feel great. The vacation was a great break. The thing about today's quote though, is that I saw it when I passed by a van that was completely filled with writing. The writing seemed to be about a man who was participating in a marathon. Of course, I may be completely wrong. But this quote, is completely mysterious to me. I don't know who wrote it or why it was written. I just know that it may be one of the simplest yet complex quotes in the world.

"Life is the classroom, love is the lesson."