run #2 + some other stuff

run #2

July 22 I went for another run, nice and (kinda) early in the morning. I felt my breathing was more controlled and deliberate this time around, however my body was still screaming and sore from the last run. I made the first 1.6 km without having to stop but just barely so, clocking in at about an eight minute run. I then ran the two 0.8 km portions with a break in between.

My recovery was faster and better this time around, and while I ended up running the same distances there has been some progress. Obviously I won't see results immediately but I am still frustrated.

On the way back I took a different route and I realized that I need to change up the scenery when I can. It was refreshing not knowing exactly what to expect, and I look forward to taking completely different routes in the future.


the bird coop

Later in the day I went to school to help with some UBC Esports Association things and ended up going to the Bird Coop, one of two gyms on campus. Now I've always been intimidated by the Bird Coop - everybody there is pretty ripped and it did not look friendly.

I went with our very own club President and you know what? It was not bad at all. He already knew a lot of regulars there but everybody treated me very nicely and it felt really good. Mr. President graciously bestowed his back and bicep workout to me and I had one of the most fulfilling workout sessions.


garibaldi lake

Up on the menu for July 23 was an early morning hike to Garibaldi Lake. I went with Alex, Amanda, and Ashly, who I had previously done Grouse Grind with. I got picked up for the hour and a half drive up north and we were off! We arrived and started the ascent around 9:00am, arriving at the lake around 12:00pm. We had planned to hike Panorama Ridge at first, however after seeing how gassed we were by the time we got to the lake, we decided against it. After taking in the amazing view and having some lunch we made our way back down and headed off home.

We met a really cool trio from Washington who were spending some nights there, Alex was doing most of the talking but he snagged their Instagram handles and they suggested that we head down to hike with them some time. In general all the hikers we passed were extremely friendly - one group even allowed us to use their bug spray (thank you) after we realized that the flies up there are awful.

While I'm not keen to do the hike again for a while, I would like to revisit some time and do an overnight trip after hiking Panorama Ridge! The hike is pretty grueling and somewhat monotonous, but I overall enjoyed it.


the ultimate ending

I got home with time to spare before my ultimate game and I was already sweaty so I figured, "Why not?" and did a quick ab workout. I don't know where I pulled this random energy from, but while I was showering there was a sense of power or something that I had some control over myself. It was like, "I just hiked for 7 hours, my legs burn, my back and arms are sore from the workout, and I just did an ab workout."

After the shower I got picked up by Sarah to head to an ultimate game in the evening. We lost both of our games and I was close to letting my legs give out, but I feel that I played well considering everything.

And that's about it! I've been keeping myself pretty busy and I'm not sure if I've had the proper time to think deeply and properly about the breakup, but maybe I don't need to do that. Maybe this is just it. It still hurts, but I'll be okay.

Goodnight everybody!

run #1

For the past month or so I've been seeing someone, and two days ago she broke up with me. As far as breakups go, it was pretty alright. We talked about everything and (hopefully) said everything we had to say.

Yesterday I had some high school friends over for board games night.

Today I went for a run, the first of many to come.

We always talked about going on runs together (she's athletic and works out often), but we opted instead for mornings spent together making pancakes and evenings lounging on the couch watching Netflix. While watching we'd snack on something, Doritos or ice cream or whatever.

As I was running this morning, I thought about this.

I looked for some beautiful message, some irony. It was ironic that I only felt compelled to run after we had broken up. It was poetic that I was running off the Doritos and ice cream and whatever, a symbol of our relationship. It was an angry message - "I don't need you, I'll make you regret that you broke up with me."

But instead I felt nothing.

I thought about us. I thought about the comfort I felt and how I would never get to experience it with her again. I thought about how we'll never finish This is Us or the second season of The End of the F***ing World. No more Black Mirror. No more snack time, pancake burning, fried rice, ultimate playing, frustrating over her APSC lab, going "yuck" at the full compost, early mornings, late nights, "Hey Google, turn off the lights", fighting for the blanket, "good morning", "good night", and "good bye".

But the nice thing about running is that if you run hard, hard enough that you can't even breathe, everything kinda slips away. You still think it, but it doesn't sting as much, because you've got something else to worry about.

It's weird how everything that I do now has a renewed purpose to it. Everything is clear - I need to eat breakfast, I need to do this so that I feel happy, I need to do... whatever it is I need to do.

Each step is a step forward for me. Today I ran a total of 3.2 km, taking breaks at 1.6 km and 2.4 km. I'm not sure how many kilometers it will take for me to finish this run, but I know that I get stronger with each step and day. When I took a break at 2.4km, I thought, "I'm worthless, I'm weak, I can't even run any more, MOVE LEGS," but I realized that I can't run it all in one go.

I need breaks. I need water. I can walk and chill for a bit, admire the scenery. Even if I run in the other direction, it's still steps, and I'l learn from my missteps. I'll take my time, but I'll also run.

See you on the next run.