I'm Back

After Realizing I Haven't Blogged For Nearly A Week

I just realized that I haven't blogged for what could have plausibly been one week, so I decided to just get it over with and pour out my heart to all the people who read this blog. So here goes. I'm about to tell you what happened the past "week" I've been "dead".

Kicking Rocks

When I was walking back home one day through the alley, I saw a small little rock. Now that I think about it, I had a difficult day and I started kicking that rock down the alley with each step. Somehow I felt an instantaneous companionship with that rock because he was like me. One out of several billion. Just another one.

As I walked into my driveway, I remembered that I needed what, like five rocks for my imitation "happy wagon", so I decided to pick it up and put it into my coat pocket.

I think it's still there. I just have yet to take it out and welcome it into my life.

Glad I Took Time To Blog

I just procrastinated the heck out of today and spent the past hour or so working on my essay (although I admit blasting music into my ears doesn't exactly help productivity). It's just yet until I figure out when to actually stop procrastinating.

Anyhow (yeah, I'm changing my vocabulary), I still have some science to finish up, so that's what I'll be doing when I finish up this post. I guess I'm just glad I took some time to post because I needed a break.

I'm Still Listening

I've told some friends why I blast a certain type of music into my ears. I'm not sure how many I've told, but hey, I'm still blasting that music. One of my great friends asked me how I have so many views on my blog. I felt corny thinking about saying, "Because you are one of those people who visit." so I decided to just shrug.

I'm a 7. I felt really tired and sluggish and just horrible in the last two blocks of the day. There are a few things I'm looking forward to (a basketball game tomorrow, visiting my old elementary school friends during semester break), so I guess my mood and number should improve soon.

Or not.

Anyways, a little inside joke with one of my table buds for the quote today.

"One does not simply quote himself on his own blog." - Philman Yeung

Haven't Felt Much Like Blogging

Short Post Today

I've been feeling tired lately (guess I just need more sugar) and I haven't felt like my old self (for many reasons). School work is falling down on me, and I'm not saying that I'm falling behind or anything, I can keep up fine, but it's just the constant flow of school work is bothersome at times.

Life seems to be going at a perfectly normal pace for everybody but me. I just want to dwell on the past.

Long Overdue Goodbye

A few days ago, one of my good friends, James, left to go back to South Korea. It hasn't been much the same without him.

James was a really neat guy. Although he didn't have the most understandable English, he wouldn't stop mid sentence, but continue on to the end like the person he was and then let us help him (although at times he was reluctant to be helped).

It's sad to see such a young and great mind leave. Kudos to you James, for bothering Tamik and being bothered by Tamik.

Night

I'm going to go to sleep now (10 to midnight just about now). It's been some very busy days lately, and I guess there will always be more to come.

I'm a 7. Just a lot of stuff coming up and I feel tired.

"A poem is not a violet, but you may wish to pick it and keep it for eternity." - Kevin Zou

Turn Revenge Into Motivation

The Plate of Life

Life is like a giant all-you-can-eat buffet with not time limit. But instead of food, you get feelings and emotions. Now the catch is, when you go get your food, you don't know what you're getting. You can pick how much of your unknown emotion you get, but you don't know what that emotion is. Who knows? You might end up with two plates of hate, a spoon of jealousy, and a cup of love.

There's a bunch of mixed feelings on my plate at the Life Cafe. The sad part is, if you're extremely unlucky, you might end up with a horrible meal, and you might just want to throw your plate of life away. So if you've got an extra spoon or two of happiness, you should give it to those who are less fortunate in selecting their meal.

But there's a trick. You can combine or alter your feelings just a little to help you out. For example, you have five plates of revenge. Why not turn that revenge into motivation? Revenge and anger are great motivators, and it helps so that you don't hurt anybody. For example (and please, for the love of god, I seriously mean this as an example), if somebody breaks up with you, don't seek revenge. Just know that if you are motivated to do something great and brilliant in life, and you accomplish that, they will regret it.

So yeah, revenge is a great motivator. When you really think about it, everything is a great motivator, you've just got to make sure you're reading the feeling right.

Life is Busy

I've finally realized that life isn't simply NOT BUSY and then BUSY at random intervals. Life is always busy. There will always be something bugging you and just waiting to bite you in the back. And there will always be something you can look forwards to.

Anyways, as much as I would like to believe that this is one of my busiest times in my life, I'm pretty positive it won't be. I've been getting quite a bit of work done in preparation for school returning back into my life (with my arms wide open), and just as a side project and a break, I decided to finally edit a video for TheEpicosityGuys. So here's the video I've been promising.

Going to Update Pages Soon

I have the habit of ignoring my pages and not updating them as frequently as I would like to (maybe once a month?). I haven't really found cool links (well I'm sure I have) anywhere on the world wide web, but I'll be sure to post some links if I do find something that I believe is worth your time.

I've been using the colour blue a lot in all my media, so that should mean I'm in a pretty good mood (either that, or I just think that everybody likes blue). A full 24 hour day hasn't passed yet, so I can't say for sure that 8 will stay for the whole day. I dunno. Depends what will happen in the next 12 and a half hours.

"I could watch you for a lifetime, you're my favourite movie. A thousand endings, you mean everything to me. I never know what's coming, forever fascinated. Hope you don't stop running, to me 'cause I'll always be waiting." - Cinema Remix by Skrillex.

Future Plans

As A Teen

I want to be able to make a decent amount of money when I turn 16. No, I don't want to work at McDonald's or Starbucks (actually, I wouldn't mind a job there, but that's off topic), or volunteer at a summer camp. Just NO. I want to be able to work from home, managing a small gaming group, or a decently sized website. And if things get desperate, then I'll probably go to some restaurant chain to work.

But recently my cousin gave me another path that I can take when I turn 16.

Right now the plan that I've created is to join Army Cadets next year and when I become 16, I'll join The British Columbia Regiment.

Expected pay as a recruit is $350 per month and of course, right now, it's more than I'm making. I also don't need to go every single day, which also means I can also possibly work at a McDonald's or Starbucks (maybe as an older person though).

Really in the end the reason why I want to join Army Cadets and The British Columbia Regiment is because I want to learn valuable skills just in case if they ever come in need. Same reason why I'm taking the St John's ambulance course right now.

No Resolutions...

I don't have any resolutions really. I just want to get my life back in order. It feels like everything falls apart just when the going gets really good. And then you get thrown down a god damn spiraling pit. But really, the person who is throwing you down is just yourself. So it's up to you to throw yourself a ladder and climb your way out.

So Many Things I Regret

There are many things I regret, and when something happens that makes me feel remorseful and regretful, it just leads me to think about all the things I've done that I wish I could take back.

I see the number 0 here much too often. You're thinking, "Oh, Kevin's only been a 0 two or three times." Still. That's two or three times too many.

"Funny how you regret not saying you were in love and also how you regret saying you were in love. Really changes a lot doesn't it?" - Kevin Zou

Shattered Pieces Of Humanity

Everywhere I Look

It's become increasingly apparent to me that everywhere there are the shards of humanity, bloody and cracked, just lying everywhere. You see prime examples of them in everyday life. A man dropping a handful of change into a homeless person's hands. People screaming to get their New Year's Eve dinners ready. Random acts of kindness and cruelty show up wherever there are humans.

Like one giant bomb blew up on the Earth and out crawled out humans.

The reason why I suddenly bring up this subject is because I was the "victim" of phone rage. If road rage is when somebody rages at you on the road, then phone rage should be when you're yelled on by a customer who's being unreasonably mad and swearing at you.

Makes me wonder if anybody can ever escape being human.

I Wanted To Make A Hell Of A Post

Making an absolutely amazing post sounds tedious to me, and I kind of want to relax (you know, with all the bad things coming in 2013), so I'll try to make this post like most pep talks. Short and to the point. But is there really a point in human life? Makes me tired just thinking about it.

To Hell With It

I'm incredibly and regretfully sorry for using the phrase "to Hell with it" (for all the religious audience, which I doubt is already few in number), but hey, everybody needs to swear once in a while (helps blow off steam). Anyways, I wanted to say I'm not going to make an end-of-2012 post because I know that there will be many years to come for this blog, and many more posts to talk about things that I just avoided talking about here.

I'm a 10 today, who can't be? I'm in incredibly great spirits just because 2013 is coming up. Can't wait to see if 2013 will amount anything to this year. I'm going to try to post exactly at 12:00 if possible. Let's see what happens shall we?

"Cheers to 2013 and more years to come." - Kevin Zou