Poems, Words, Songs, Life.

I Try

To all those people that keep visiting, thanks, because I honestly really do try to keep your attention throughout this post. Sometimes even the title of my blog will turn people away, so I've been more conscious of what I say on this blog.

I will honestly admit that I do just close somebody's blog right away if the title already doesn't appeal to me and I know that most of my posts on this blog are like those posts. Plain and useless. We are trying to talk about meaningful things without sounding like complete douche bags, but we can't do that.

So I do try and keep all these people (mostly friends) visiting my blog by updating and littering my Facebook with blog updates and such. I do really try.

Poems

Last night I stayed up making up a poem. I'm a pretty bad poet, but a humble one at that. I was thinking about entering the poem (planning on finishing it later on today) into a district competition (but hey, I'm already struggling to write a short novel for another local contest), but I figure that other people have much better chances than me.

I've discovered that I love rhymes.

Words

Naturally words make up poems. They're strong themselves, just one word will just do about anything. Two words can do more, and so on and so on. Words can be strong and words can be weak. I figure people use swear words because they think they're strong. Maybe they are. I don't know. I try not to use them, but it's hard in this time.

Songs

Songs are amazing. They vary and range from love songs to sad songs to party songs. They can boost your mood incredibly or just make you down (less so making you down). Sometimes there are songs that perfectly fit your situation, and sometimes there are songs that you loved a while back, but you put them on loop so many times they've killed your ears.

Life.

Life has been increasingly kind to me, but I've been increasingly pushing myself to go further. More so it has been confusing for me though. Therefore I write poems, say words, and listen to songs to try to "unconfuse" myself.

That's it for today. I'm a 7 for this morning.

"Never reach out your hand unless you're willing to extend an arm." - Pope Paul IV

Deep Tired

I'm Extremely Tired

For some reason I just feel really tired. I was feeling perfectly fine this morning and my mood was escalating until the evening. The only thing that I can think that would set me off was the fact I didn't get ice cream. Let me explain more about this ice cream situation before I actually continue on sounding like a spoiled brat.

So the majority of this evening was spent building the second floor of the rabbit's home and eating sunflower seeds (to be very general). We got called down to dinner and after that proceeded to go upstairs to get ice cream. It just turned out that they had purple yam ice cream and my brother said that I didn't like it while I was trying to close my eyes for a bit on the couch (I got something stuck in my right eye). I felt like speaking up, but I decided not to, thinking that one of them would come over and ask me if I wanted ice cream.

Now, my brother wasn't trying to rob me of ice cream, but more because he thought I didn't like it. It's my fault either way. The last time I had it I only mildly enjoyed it (it was melted by the time I actually really liked it), so I suppose my brother was trying to help me out. It's also my fault for not speaking up, so that's another thing.

But what really is gnawing at me is the fact that one of the guys didn't come over and ask me if I wanted any. I know it's still because I didn't speak up or ask for any (and wouldn't have minded not having any), but I can't help but feel that they dislike me.

There you are. What MIGHT have put me in a bad mood was caused by ice cream. Purple yam ice cream to be exact.

Therefore I Am Glad To Have Semester Break

I'm more grateful than ever that I have semester break this week because I need to organize all my work and just take back charge of my mood. Figure I'm going to sleep in next morning and I'll feel perfectly fine by then (in fact, talking about the purple yam ice cream incident has helped quite a bit). This whole thing is probably just an accident or something, but I figure I can make something funny out of it.

Remember how I used to post up words that I've made up or somebody close to me has made up? A few examples include "uhhh", "huuu", and "attentioner". I'm thinking now that I should try and incorporate purple yam ice cream into a new one. I'll try to think up of something next post.

Then Again, I Could Just Be Sick

I COULD be coming down with a cold or something, but I don't really think that it is that (I tend to not catch that many illnesses because I've already got them so many times). It's definitely not depression, and I don't want to embarrass myself by pretending to know what mood swings are.

I'm a surprisingly high 8. Probably going to grab a thermos of hot water and just truly relax by my little "campfre" (bad metaphor, sorry, it meant computer). Then I'll go to sleep, wake up, feel great, do some work, then blog later after the day has unfolded like me unfolding a paper crane in my Foods 8 class to wipe my fingers of the quesadillas we have just made.

"Hear me, my chiefs! I am tired. My heart is sick and sad. From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever." - Chief Joseph

Semester Break Is Finally Here

Time To Lay Back

It's been a really hectic month with the near end of semester one, and all of my teachers are pilling up homework for the semester break and giving us the midyear exams one week earlier so we don't have to go in during semester break. I'm honestly just glad that all of this is over and I can kind of slow down and figure out a pace at which I do my homework and how to balance things in life.

With all this stuff going around and the fact that I haven't blogged as much as I promised, I decided to finally put up a post today (it's the morning right now, so I believe I will regret blogging right now as I may wish to later tonight). I originally intended to write a post yesterday, but I guess I wasn't in the writing mood.

Games

Of course, in my typical world, every break comes with games. It's not like I'm going to go hardcore gaming and play 24/7 for the whole break, but yeah, it will be cool to just do so for a while.

My friend Phil and I have been hyped up about the claimed-to-be-revolutionary-in-gaming Elder Scrolls Online. The game hasn't been released (and probably won't be for a long long time), but you could sign up to become a beta tester. So Phil and I signed up and we probably knew in the beginning that we couldn't get into the beta testing (well, Phil stood a chance), but hey, what's the world without hope? Anyways, I've just been keeping my eye on this game ever since Phil introduced me to it and I hope that when it comes out to the public, I'll still remember about it.

Until Next Post

Today I'm heading out to downtown Vancouver for Spud Patrol (which I've only been to once, but was cool), and that makes me feel useful, and when I feel useful I keep on being useful. So in short, I'll probably be doing a lot of homework today (just finish off a large chunk or all of it today).

This morning I'm feeling surprisingly well. I know I didn't really put any meaningful things in this post (how many times do I use words like meaningful?), but I guess this will do for the internet this morning. I'm a 9 right now, and I think with an optimistic mind that I will be a 10 this evening. In fact, you can assume I'm a 10 in the near future.

"We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse." - Rudyard Kipling

I'm Back

After Realizing I Haven't Blogged For Nearly A Week

I just realized that I haven't blogged for what could have plausibly been one week, so I decided to just get it over with and pour out my heart to all the people who read this blog. So here goes. I'm about to tell you what happened the past "week" I've been "dead".

Kicking Rocks

When I was walking back home one day through the alley, I saw a small little rock. Now that I think about it, I had a difficult day and I started kicking that rock down the alley with each step. Somehow I felt an instantaneous companionship with that rock because he was like me. One out of several billion. Just another one.

As I walked into my driveway, I remembered that I needed what, like five rocks for my imitation "happy wagon", so I decided to pick it up and put it into my coat pocket.

I think it's still there. I just have yet to take it out and welcome it into my life.

Glad I Took Time To Blog

I just procrastinated the heck out of today and spent the past hour or so working on my essay (although I admit blasting music into my ears doesn't exactly help productivity). It's just yet until I figure out when to actually stop procrastinating.

Anyhow (yeah, I'm changing my vocabulary), I still have some science to finish up, so that's what I'll be doing when I finish up this post. I guess I'm just glad I took some time to post because I needed a break.

I'm Still Listening

I've told some friends why I blast a certain type of music into my ears. I'm not sure how many I've told, but hey, I'm still blasting that music. One of my great friends asked me how I have so many views on my blog. I felt corny thinking about saying, "Because you are one of those people who visit." so I decided to just shrug.

I'm a 7. I felt really tired and sluggish and just horrible in the last two blocks of the day. There are a few things I'm looking forward to (a basketball game tomorrow, visiting my old elementary school friends during semester break), so I guess my mood and number should improve soon.

Or not.

Anyways, a little inside joke with one of my table buds for the quote today.

"One does not simply quote himself on his own blog." - Philman Yeung

Haven't Felt Much Like Blogging

Short Post Today

I've been feeling tired lately (guess I just need more sugar) and I haven't felt like my old self (for many reasons). School work is falling down on me, and I'm not saying that I'm falling behind or anything, I can keep up fine, but it's just the constant flow of school work is bothersome at times.

Life seems to be going at a perfectly normal pace for everybody but me. I just want to dwell on the past.

Long Overdue Goodbye

A few days ago, one of my good friends, James, left to go back to South Korea. It hasn't been much the same without him.

James was a really neat guy. Although he didn't have the most understandable English, he wouldn't stop mid sentence, but continue on to the end like the person he was and then let us help him (although at times he was reluctant to be helped).

It's sad to see such a young and great mind leave. Kudos to you James, for bothering Tamik and being bothered by Tamik.

Night

I'm going to go to sleep now (10 to midnight just about now). It's been some very busy days lately, and I guess there will always be more to come.

I'm a 7. Just a lot of stuff coming up and I feel tired.

"A poem is not a violet, but you may wish to pick it and keep it for eternity." - Kevin Zou

Turn Revenge Into Motivation

The Plate of Life

Life is like a giant all-you-can-eat buffet with not time limit. But instead of food, you get feelings and emotions. Now the catch is, when you go get your food, you don't know what you're getting. You can pick how much of your unknown emotion you get, but you don't know what that emotion is. Who knows? You might end up with two plates of hate, a spoon of jealousy, and a cup of love.

There's a bunch of mixed feelings on my plate at the Life Cafe. The sad part is, if you're extremely unlucky, you might end up with a horrible meal, and you might just want to throw your plate of life away. So if you've got an extra spoon or two of happiness, you should give it to those who are less fortunate in selecting their meal.

But there's a trick. You can combine or alter your feelings just a little to help you out. For example, you have five plates of revenge. Why not turn that revenge into motivation? Revenge and anger are great motivators, and it helps so that you don't hurt anybody. For example (and please, for the love of god, I seriously mean this as an example), if somebody breaks up with you, don't seek revenge. Just know that if you are motivated to do something great and brilliant in life, and you accomplish that, they will regret it.

So yeah, revenge is a great motivator. When you really think about it, everything is a great motivator, you've just got to make sure you're reading the feeling right.

Life is Busy

I've finally realized that life isn't simply NOT BUSY and then BUSY at random intervals. Life is always busy. There will always be something bugging you and just waiting to bite you in the back. And there will always be something you can look forwards to.

Anyways, as much as I would like to believe that this is one of my busiest times in my life, I'm pretty positive it won't be. I've been getting quite a bit of work done in preparation for school returning back into my life (with my arms wide open), and just as a side project and a break, I decided to finally edit a video for TheEpicosityGuys. So here's the video I've been promising.

Going to Update Pages Soon

I have the habit of ignoring my pages and not updating them as frequently as I would like to (maybe once a month?). I haven't really found cool links (well I'm sure I have) anywhere on the world wide web, but I'll be sure to post some links if I do find something that I believe is worth your time.

I've been using the colour blue a lot in all my media, so that should mean I'm in a pretty good mood (either that, or I just think that everybody likes blue). A full 24 hour day hasn't passed yet, so I can't say for sure that 8 will stay for the whole day. I dunno. Depends what will happen in the next 12 and a half hours.

"I could watch you for a lifetime, you're my favourite movie. A thousand endings, you mean everything to me. I never know what's coming, forever fascinated. Hope you don't stop running, to me 'cause I'll always be waiting." - Cinema Remix by Skrillex.

Future Plans

As A Teen

I want to be able to make a decent amount of money when I turn 16. No, I don't want to work at McDonald's or Starbucks (actually, I wouldn't mind a job there, but that's off topic), or volunteer at a summer camp. Just NO. I want to be able to work from home, managing a small gaming group, or a decently sized website. And if things get desperate, then I'll probably go to some restaurant chain to work.

But recently my cousin gave me another path that I can take when I turn 16.

Right now the plan that I've created is to join Army Cadets next year and when I become 16, I'll join The British Columbia Regiment.

Expected pay as a recruit is $350 per month and of course, right now, it's more than I'm making. I also don't need to go every single day, which also means I can also possibly work at a McDonald's or Starbucks (maybe as an older person though).

Really in the end the reason why I want to join Army Cadets and The British Columbia Regiment is because I want to learn valuable skills just in case if they ever come in need. Same reason why I'm taking the St John's ambulance course right now.

No Resolutions...

I don't have any resolutions really. I just want to get my life back in order. It feels like everything falls apart just when the going gets really good. And then you get thrown down a god damn spiraling pit. But really, the person who is throwing you down is just yourself. So it's up to you to throw yourself a ladder and climb your way out.

So Many Things I Regret

There are many things I regret, and when something happens that makes me feel remorseful and regretful, it just leads me to think about all the things I've done that I wish I could take back.

I see the number 0 here much too often. You're thinking, "Oh, Kevin's only been a 0 two or three times." Still. That's two or three times too many.

"Funny how you regret not saying you were in love and also how you regret saying you were in love. Really changes a lot doesn't it?" - Kevin Zou

Shattered Pieces Of Humanity

Everywhere I Look

It's become increasingly apparent to me that everywhere there are the shards of humanity, bloody and cracked, just lying everywhere. You see prime examples of them in everyday life. A man dropping a handful of change into a homeless person's hands. People screaming to get their New Year's Eve dinners ready. Random acts of kindness and cruelty show up wherever there are humans.

Like one giant bomb blew up on the Earth and out crawled out humans.

The reason why I suddenly bring up this subject is because I was the "victim" of phone rage. If road rage is when somebody rages at you on the road, then phone rage should be when you're yelled on by a customer who's being unreasonably mad and swearing at you.

Makes me wonder if anybody can ever escape being human.

I Wanted To Make A Hell Of A Post

Making an absolutely amazing post sounds tedious to me, and I kind of want to relax (you know, with all the bad things coming in 2013), so I'll try to make this post like most pep talks. Short and to the point. But is there really a point in human life? Makes me tired just thinking about it.

To Hell With It

I'm incredibly and regretfully sorry for using the phrase "to Hell with it" (for all the religious audience, which I doubt is already few in number), but hey, everybody needs to swear once in a while (helps blow off steam). Anyways, I wanted to say I'm not going to make an end-of-2012 post because I know that there will be many years to come for this blog, and many more posts to talk about things that I just avoided talking about here.

I'm a 10 today, who can't be? I'm in incredibly great spirits just because 2013 is coming up. Can't wait to see if 2013 will amount anything to this year. I'm going to try to post exactly at 12:00 if possible. Let's see what happens shall we?

"Cheers to 2013 and more years to come." - Kevin Zou