I Feel Like I'm Losing

I'm Losing

It feels like I'm just losing a lot of things that I used to take for granted. I used to take friendship for granted, and I don't know if it's my fault if I'm not friends with that person anymore, or if I just wasn't supposed to be friends with that person in the first place.

Along with friends, it also feels like I'm losing track of what I'm really supposed to do in life. I mean, yeah, I can go through life as it is right now, but it doesn't seem to have the spark that it used to have.

I think what I can't really stand is the fact that all these things mean that I am becoming nobody.

Nobody

At the beginning of the school year, I was somebody. People liked me for what they saw in those few first weeks of high school. Those weeks were the best and probably won't be bested by any other weeks at the beginning of a school year.

Now it's like everybody knows everybody and everybody is comfortable around everybody, but I'm just unhappy for some reason. I shouldn't be, but for some reason I am.

Feel Like A Prick (And Probably Am One)

I have one friend who's really like me. I'm surprised we share a lot of thoughts, although he is able to be more serious than I can be at times and has a deeper well of thought. This friend messaged me after school talking about a problem and I said a few words to try to help out. The thing is, if the situation that he was in was also forced on me, I would be feeling the exact same way. I would feel, well, terrible.

Blogging, like most things in life, makes me feel like a prick. A lot of stuff does. It's impossible to go through life without feeling like you're trying to be a jerk to everybody else. I'm a 5.

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anais Nin