I've been going through some personal problems and today I came to the realization that I don't really have any close friends. Right now my emotions are a mixture of both self-pity, shame, and embarrassment. For somebody who has always considered himself social and easy to get along with, where has everybody gone? It feels as if I'm going at life all alone and that I'm nothing but an add-on to friend groups.
The people that I have cherished and held closest in my life (asides from family) have disappeared without a trace. Some have moved onto the farther and greater places, others are right next door but they may as well be on the other side of the world. I feel as though the amount of meaningful interactions in my life have dropped ever since I started school, and I'm genuinely terrified that I'll go through the next four years without developing significant relationships with others.
In this moment I can't think of a single friend who would consider me first to ask to hang out. I don't know how everything got so bad.
I know that all I've said sounds bleak, and that I'm going against my belief that everything will always turn out better in the end, but right now things aren't going that well.
I just feel lonely.
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