why

you don't care you don't care at all why would you do something like this it's not even your fault it's my fault it's all my fault i deserve this i deserve this i deserve this why didn't you respond i need something i want to feel something why am i writing this i just want it to stop and i want to feel okay again is that too much to ask for i thought after all this time at least i could ask that of you i did to be honest, but there goes kevin again ruining everything it's all his fault everything is my fault everything everything everything i feel and i feel nothing all my fault it's so messy i don't know what to do i don't know how to feel am i even allowed to feel happy if i am then why do i feel so sad when i get happy is it because i want my happiness to come from you sometimes too i just want it to stop everything everything stop myself stop everything i want to lose myself in something i want to feel something i want to stop saying the same things over and over again i wish that i would just grow up cause it's just heartbreak right it'll pass with time right and then hopefully i can look back this and cringe at how disgusting filthy sad pathetic and disgraceful i am then i will delete this post and this will never have happened it will be just like it never happened right then i will be okay this is for your eyes only okay make sure you don't show anybody else and if anybody else asks i'm okay right

i saw sparks
singing like la la la la la la
la la la la la la
la la la la la la
la la la la la la