tonight

i don't want to catch feelings i don't think i'm ready

but i feel and i'm so happy that i do

though it means that i'm moving on, i gave up

gave up on us even though she had long ago

i finally caught up

save me

flipping through the yearbook my fingers can't help but to just

... - take a look, one peek is all

ah

i

should not have

peeked

i stare at a small rectangle on the page

memories flood and drown my mind

i can't breathe

help

even though i manage to pry my eyes away

they devour the remaining contents of the book

imagine if one single second

every feeling just coursed through your body and you felt everything

one

more

time

i huff in the fumes of my rosy high school life

i wish i could go back

papers lie strewn around my room

to the left,

A L P H A S E C O N D A R Y S C H O O L

Students' Council

President

----- ... -----

K E V I N

Z O U

2016 - 2017

an empty take out box,

tax papers narrowly avoiding the wheel of my chair,

the folding chair i made in grade 8,

feelings lost in the air

i scramble to get them but they slip away at my fingertips

my heart cries

          please come back

                     i don't want to grow up

i miss the old you

when i see you i don't want this you

i want the old you, but i know that she isn't coming back

i know that it won't

and i think that's pretty sad

you lose someone you love

but you still see "them"

i wish it wasn't like this