Here We Go Again

Well... Second Time It's Been Broken


My heart has has so many cracks, smears, and smudges on it, I can only hope with desperation that it will still be able to function. Yep. My so called "girlfriend" broke up with me again. When I asked her if we should stop the whole thing, she said, "There's nothing to stop." That hurts so much, although she doesn't know.

Last night I couldn't go to sleep. I tossed and turned as I went through happy memories. Soon those memories turned into dark ones. I allowed the night to lure me into its grasps, but instead was betrayed as I visited even more dark memories. The last time I checked my clock was 1:12 AM, but I'm sure that I stayed up way past that.

This morning, I woke up at a ridiculously early time that was 6:55 AM. I guess you could say I only had about three hours of sleep.

Jesus. I don't know how these types of things will affect me. Last time it happened, I couldn't even look her in the eye. This time, she was supposed to be my support. Ironic isn't it? She turned out to be my downfall.

I'm sick and tired of these types of things. I CREATE these scenarios for myself. I always keep on believing on the optimistic side when I know all too well that the pessimistic side is much more accurate.

Nobody knows how I feel. My life truly sucks.

I'm Losing It


I'm in an incredibly depressed mood. I don't know how to react to these type of things.

I'm a complete and utter 0. This reminds me of Stargirl. She had a happy wagon. Essentially it was a small toy wagon with 20 pebbles. Whenever Stargirl was happy, she would add pebbles. Whenever she was sad, she would remove pebbles. I guess I'm like her.

"I tried to wash her poison out with my cold blood that now ran without meaning." - Kevin Zou