Possibilities

Life Is Full Of Them

As I was walking home after the band concert evening, I started to think about possibilities.

I mean, life is just one huge possibility that's full of smaller possibilities. Your actions, your moves, your choices, they all make and change somebody else's life. Your life was possibility. If you even think more about it, all possibilities lead back further to more possibilities. Let's put it simply though.

Pretend you're a married man (for those girls reading this, just bear with me and pretend). Realize this, your whole life and situation right now was caused by probably just one little variable. Flashback to your last year of high school. If you hadn't decided to walk down the left side of the hallway, you wouldn't have almost ran into your friend. If you hadn't almost run into your friend, you wouldn't have sidestepped to the right. If you hadn't sidestepped to the right, you wouldn't have bumped into that girl. If you hadn't bumped into that girl, you wouldn't have made her drop all her books. If you hadn't made her drop all her books, you would have never met her. Then the possibilities unravel and unravel until you're finally at where you are right now.

Now there is a back story of possibilities. So many that they seem like the sheer amount of possibilities are infinite. Why were you walking down the left side of the hallway? It was because your best friend had a superstition about having bad luck when you walk down the right side of the hallway. But what would have happened if you hadn't met your best friend? It gets very complicated.

Along with a back story, there's also a story after the meeting of the dropped books. It was possible you could have never called her. And if you did call her, then it was possible she would have become one of your best friends before she became your girlfriend. But that's assuming that you did call her.

Back to your best friend. What would have happened if his parents hadn't met? Then you wouldn't have met him. That would result in you possibly not walking down the left side of the hall. Which would have meant you would have never met that girl.

If you've read through all of this, I'm impressed. It's pretty much just me spilling out all the thoughts I was thinking about while walking home. Amazing what you can think up in under five minutes.

Goodnight

I'm going to make the assumption that you have read this much and your eyes are tired and you don't want to read anymore, so I'll just finish writing this.

Tonight was probably the better part of my day. It really helped improve this number (which is a 9 by the way), and I hope that I'll have nights like tonight again.

"It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important." - Arthur Conan Doyle

Productivity

Finally Got Some Work Done

I realized something today. The more you put off something, the more bothersome it becomes. I've left a majority of my work to the last minutes and I now know that it's an incredibly unproductive way of going through life.

So my new tactic is just to do my work the day I get it. I figure that this will eventually stick and I'll finally get out of my procrastination rut.

A large part of stress is created from incomplete work.

A Bit Late With This

My friend must have read my blog a while back or must have known I was feeling "stressed" because he sent me a link to this site.

Now to be honest, I haven't really applied much of what is on that site to my life, but I've read it and I'm trying to incorporate some of the methods explained on that site into my daily life.

One of the methods (or a general rule) is to stray outside your comfort zone. That way (this is my interpretation of this) you expand your comfort zone. I'm looking forward to testing this out, and I thought it'd just be cool to share what my friend shared with me.

Done

I'm done for this post (because I'm leeched of ideas), and I have just discovered that my feet are extremely cold (that's what I get for not wearing socks). Anyhow, there was really nothing worthwhile to read in this post, so I figure it's cool if you've just skipped to the end of this.

I have to say I got a lot of work done today, so I'm feeling like a 8. Typically I don't write posts when they have nothing of value to the reader, but it's been a while, so I "had" to. Along with this post I've also updated the blog design.

"Small minds are concerned with the extraordinary, great minds with the ordinary." - Blaise Pascal

Change

Everybody Is Changing

People around me are changing, and this whole time I'm struggling to just stay the same. Terrible right? All those people that I used to know in elementary school, well, most of them have changed, and I have to say some that I never expected to change for the better did.

Then again, the people who I never expected to change for the worse did. It's kind of disappointing. I spent the good few years of my elementary school life trying to do something. More or less I tried to change people for my vision of what is better (which may be considered a bad thing). And you know, I really expected a lot out of my friends. It's sad to see that some of them have just thrown it down onto the ground. It makes me feel useless and foolish and now I have no way of trying to change them again.

Haha. This blog makes me feel foolish sometimes.

Proof I Am Unstable

Every time I pass a fire alarm, I get this sudden urge just to screw everything and go flip it. I think it's mostly because I'm just really tired of school. It's like I'm doing the same thing everyday and I'm just stuck in a cycle for the rest of my education.

On the topic of sudden urges to cause chaos, I've also had weird urges just to punch people in the face. I don't know why, but some people I just have really found to distaste. It's not like I just didn't like them from the moment I saw them. I give everybody a chance, and they've lost that chance. The type of people who I particularly have a dislike for are usually just people who are looking for attention (I actually have a word for them: attentioners).

Do I feel like one of those people? Yes. I must admit that I do. Writing this blog makes me feel like I'm looking for attention. Constantly moving my feet makes me feel like I'm looking for attention. Walking in the hallways does that do. A very large majority of my daily actions and habits make me feel like I'm looking for attention.

So to sum it all up, I've been feeling pretty bad about myself. I guess I haven't really done much to prove myself.

Congratulations

I know you either you just skipped to this part or read the whole thing, and I must congratulate you if you have done so for either. It's hard to find people who are willing to read something very dull. Sometimes I feel like there are so many better people out there. Random thoughts I've been dying to try to express. But no matter how much I try I just can't. It's something that I can't explain.

Well, I'm pretty tired so I'm going to start preparing for bed. Hopefully I'll find some answers to these questions that don't seem to have answers. Heck, I don't even know if I have the right questions. I'm a 6. High school and my lifestyle choices must be taking their tolls on me.

"Love is too young to know what conscience is." - William Shakespeare 

Expectancy

Setting The Bar

There's a general rule in life that is the main motivator in many lives. The higher you set the bar, the higher you go. Whenever you can't reach the bar, then you have (in some way) failed. You haven't failed anybody but yourself. However, you can't set the bar lower. You can only set it higher to the point where people are able to trust you to reach the bar constantly.

I think that my family members are pushing me to my extreme limits. It's like I can't set the bar any higher and I can't jump any higher. For them it's like I just have to keep my mind focused on work and minimally on play. I'm just trying to relax and chill on the way to graduation.

Life Is... Slowing Down?

Everything seems to be taking a much slower pace. I finished my science final today and the grade eight textbook is completely done (unless I missed something), so that's one thing off my checklist. I finished off the final swab in my science fair, so it's only the poster that I need to take care of. It just seems like everything is finally finding it's place in the 100 piece puzzle of this month.

Then comes next month. But that's another 100 pieces for another time.

Errrmmm... That's It For Today

I finished another great episode of The Walking Dead and it seems to me (SPOILER ALERT) that Rick is kind of cracking. I don't know what's happening to him, but he's been seeing "Lori" everywhere. I wonder what will happen.

Anyhow (SPOILER ALERT OVER), today has been a decent day. I'm a high 8 (the Canucks win this night bumped that up) so I decided to post. Ummm... sorry for the lack of content in this post. I guess I'll try harder next time. Haha. Well, night.

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous." - Ingrid Bergman

Individual

Sometimes It's Better To Be Alone

Recently I've been burnt by my own decision to team up with somebody to do some work and it's kind of rebounded and hit me right in the back. So I guess it is beneficial to be the individual at times.

But for most things in life, it is best done with teamwork and cooperation with people who deserve your input of work AND play.

Life is just one long road that I'm driving on. I pick up passengers in my never-filling car. Each passenger is like a lesson. Some passengers I drop off at their destination while others stay with my throughout the whole drive of life.

Meaningful Conversations

I'm typically a very social person. I like to talk and be with people. It makes me happy to do so. Lately though I've found most of my online conversations to be very... bland and uninteresting. It's a repetitive cycle of faces and asking how the other person is doing and what they're doing.

It makes me feel not useful whenever I have these empty chats. I guess that's how everybody feels, but they just don't realize it. Sometimes I wish that every conversation I had was meaningful and brilliant, full of emotion and just nothing but casual conversing. Not chatting while your friend is off cooking lunch or reading a book. I wonder what happened to just talking.

Kinetic Typography

I finished a lot of my homework last night, but surprisingly didn't work on my latest project (that I believe will actually go on to reach the end), which is a kinetic typography lyric video for an unknown artist. I constantly switch over from basic coding to digital media and the such (example of my very basic vector to the right), and I guess right now is my digital media stage.

Anyhow, as I said, my most recent project has been a lyric video. It's actually a tedious process to make the animation for each word as the artist sings it (not to mention repetitively boring), but I figure in the end it will look better than anything I have ever done.

Somehow I feel very... complete when I do things such as AV or kinetic typography. It's just the satisfaction of seeing how much work you have completed in a certain amount of time. Somehow it kind of just makes me feel alive. Weird right?

Looks Like I Won't Be Posting For The Next 24 Hours

I just realized I've spent quite some time working on this post (which I started because I was talking to my cousin about my science fair project) and it's already past midnight. When I started off blogging, my mindset was that you shouldn't have more than one post per day. I guess that applies to THIS blog because it's kind of like a journal to me, but for other blogs (cooking blogs, gaming blogs), that probably wouldn't really matter. But this is my blog, so I guess I won't be blogging until tomorrow.

It's only been 11 minutes into February 11, 2013 Monday, so I can't really say what number I'm feeling like, but considering the past few hours, I feel like a solid 8. Anyhow, it's officially Family Day now and I guess now is a better time than any to wish everybody a great Family Day.

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living." - Dr. Seuss

Honestly I Don't Know Why

I Don't Know Why I Still Blog

It's been over a year since I've started this blog and I have to say that it's become a decent blog. I realize I haven't done a lot of things I've promised on this blog, such as post snippets of my NaNoWriMo novel (which is kind of abandoned, but I'm thinking of starting a shorter novel) and other things such as that.

I know most of my views come from family and friends, and although that is comforting to know, I wonder what other people really are just random people who enter my life through my blog. In fact, I wonder if anybody is truly a "unique" visit. Somebody who I do not know. I've been getting a lot of comments and I admit most of them sound like they're from my two close cousins, but some of them sound like just other random people.

This blog and I have kind of been inspirations for other people to start blogs. I'm pretty sure that at least one person has started a blog after seeing this (a lowly number, but nevertheless worth it) and I'm quite truthfully proud of that.

Anyhow, this blog has reached over 13,000 views over the span of what, one and half years? I feel like this blog is really expanding (although I don't know how much), but I wonder who really has the time to read about my useless musings (which by the time I shouldn't be doing since I have a lot of homework to do, but oh well).

I suppose I blog because I hope that one day I can look back at this, read through my life, and be proud of myself. Or I'm just waiting for one person to read this blog and come and change my life.

And If You're Still Reading

I would surprise myself if I could read through all of it, so really, you guys are the best of the best. Everything has been catching up to me and I now realize how much I have to accomplish in this one school year that will be over in a matter of months. So it's time for me to mature and finally get some work done. Which of course means that this is the end of the post. Sorry if you were expecting some sort of a secret.

Tonight has been enjoyable, from the close basketball game today to just contently blogging here.

I sat in the area outside Alpha's large gym today. The wind had a nice breeze to it and I swear, if I was careless enough to ditch class, I would have stayed there until I had to move. I was really happy there, and I suppose I am now, but it's the kind of happy that comes with the unhappy.

Of course, I've been feeling the same lately. A little better, but hey, I've never used decimals, so I guess I won't start now. Considering everything, it's been a fine day and I'm an 8. I'm going to finish this blog off with a little shout out to my good friend Natty. It's her birthday if you didn't know (although I think all her friends do). Anyhow, happy birthday. You're now older than me, but hey, we're learning the same things.

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde

Successful People

People Who Are Successful

On Saturday I went to Math Challengers at UBC and I admit I had a really fun and good time being there. I learned quite a lot of things (such as how pressure really works) and also experienced sadness. Why sadness? Well, all around me there are people who are either destined to be brilliant and known in life and then there are people who have no hope for their future. And then there's just me.

I honestly don't want to die unknown. I want to be in books, I want somebody else besides my family and friends to be crying for me. I know it sounds greedy, but I really want to leave these world impacting at least a small part of it.

I guess that's what motivates me. I try to be better than others because I want to end off my life impacting. I try to be better than that girl I saw at the Math Challengers that was ranked first overall because I want to have that smile that she was wearing.

So That's Why I've Been Down

That's the reason why I've been down (besides the pressure of homework collapsing on me and the fact that I'll probably finish like so much science tomorrow), although like most things in life, it's my fault.

This one person has been my image. In math terms, if you move or change point x, then the changed point is called x' I believe. I'm not sure, but it goes something like that. Anyways, back to the story. This one person has been my x. When this person is happy, I'm happy. When this person is sad, I'm sad. So I've been kind of that person's x'. Not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

Goodnight

I have school tomorrow, but I'm really too lazy to get off my butt and go shower and take care of my hygiene (I'll just do that later).

My number for today is 8. I feel decent enough to say that. I'm still kind of behind and not sure in my math and science homework, but nevertheless I will catch up. Anyhow, you guys and gals have a great evening while I'll bury myself inside my mind.

"In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two." - Erich Fromm