Change

Everybody Is Changing

People around me are changing, and this whole time I'm struggling to just stay the same. Terrible right? All those people that I used to know in elementary school, well, most of them have changed, and I have to say some that I never expected to change for the better did.

Then again, the people who I never expected to change for the worse did. It's kind of disappointing. I spent the good few years of my elementary school life trying to do something. More or less I tried to change people for my vision of what is better (which may be considered a bad thing). And you know, I really expected a lot out of my friends. It's sad to see that some of them have just thrown it down onto the ground. It makes me feel useless and foolish and now I have no way of trying to change them again.

Haha. This blog makes me feel foolish sometimes.

Proof I Am Unstable

Every time I pass a fire alarm, I get this sudden urge just to screw everything and go flip it. I think it's mostly because I'm just really tired of school. It's like I'm doing the same thing everyday and I'm just stuck in a cycle for the rest of my education.

On the topic of sudden urges to cause chaos, I've also had weird urges just to punch people in the face. I don't know why, but some people I just have really found to distaste. It's not like I just didn't like them from the moment I saw them. I give everybody a chance, and they've lost that chance. The type of people who I particularly have a dislike for are usually just people who are looking for attention (I actually have a word for them: attentioners).

Do I feel like one of those people? Yes. I must admit that I do. Writing this blog makes me feel like I'm looking for attention. Constantly moving my feet makes me feel like I'm looking for attention. Walking in the hallways does that do. A very large majority of my daily actions and habits make me feel like I'm looking for attention.

So to sum it all up, I've been feeling pretty bad about myself. I guess I haven't really done much to prove myself.

Congratulations

I know you either you just skipped to this part or read the whole thing, and I must congratulate you if you have done so for either. It's hard to find people who are willing to read something very dull. Sometimes I feel like there are so many better people out there. Random thoughts I've been dying to try to express. But no matter how much I try I just can't. It's something that I can't explain.

Well, I'm pretty tired so I'm going to start preparing for bed. Hopefully I'll find some answers to these questions that don't seem to have answers. Heck, I don't even know if I have the right questions. I'm a 6. High school and my lifestyle choices must be taking their tolls on me.

"Love is too young to know what conscience is." - William Shakespeare