(No Title)
Once you actually start attempting to write about a whole year and try to sum it all up in a few measly words, it's actually one of the hardest things you can do (I can't even think up a title for this little introduction). I'm afraid that my words alone will not be enough to express my bent up feelings effectively. I managed to finally get myself off the couch after about nine hours of anime (I feel like I just let myself go) and decided to start writing up the oh so obligatory end of the year post. I don't plan to post up anything about the end of 2013 anywhere else (since I tend to get a lot of hate for that), so enjoy this while you can. So without further ado, I present to you...
A Year In Review: 2013 (Not Really)
It's difficult to keep track of all the changes and things that have happened in the past year. If I were to tell the Kevin-from-one-year-ago that he were to go on to take chemistry and skip a grade in a bunch of courses, I am 99.9% sure that he would've started panicking. Looking back, I can see that so many things have changed. Some of them I'm glad for the change. Others I wish never happened. The people around me, and myself, we've all changed.
A year ago I was hanging out with my two favourite people in the world. I was new and fresh meat to high school. Me being me, I was stressing over the science fair project and the booklet (which I can look back and laugh at), yet still procrastinating over it (that largely has remained unchanged of me). Yet I was enjoying it all. I had friends and by that time any idea of transferring to North were demolished. Like everybody else I was excited for the new year.
When I think about old Kevin, I can say that I get sad. But it's a good thing to be sad right? It means there is care in place. I don't necessarily wish that everything stayed the same, but I do regret some decisions that I made within that time period.
Enough of old Kevin.
Right now I also talk to my favourite people. I can't say that they're the same, and although I dearly miss them, I also cherish the new people I have met. There is a chemistry test coming up right after break and a lot of math assignments that I have not handed in. The general theme has remained the same, but the details have changed.
Thinking about 2013 brings a lot of things to mind. There is so much to talk about, but I don't know where to start for once. It troubles me, my incompetence that is. All these things happened and I can't decide what to write about. So pardon me for the randomness that will undoubtedly show up in this post. I can't help it.
I've met a lot of people this year. I like meeting people because every new person opens up a new possibility. I've met the new grade eights. I have also made friends (in some cases, very good friends) with the grade 10s. And I made friends with some of the remaining grade nines that I did not meet last year (what a terrible grade rep eh?). So... erm... thanks if you are a part of my life. My life wouldn't be it right now if it weren't for you being you.
We've all experienced the trends that have hit us the past year. Whether it be whatever the fox says, or a certain Korean dance style, I know that in the future when people rave about them and we are old and fragile, that we can say, "Those were good times." We have lived every single day of this year, and we are the only ones who are able to say that.
Wow. I'm just bad at this. I really can't say anything else, so I will end it here. Thank you for everything that has happened in my life. I know that if you are reading this blog, then you are a part of my life, no matter how small and insignificant, or how big and important.
Ultimately 2013 may not be a year that people will remember for anything significant or life changing. However I can say that I have lived the days that bear the mark of 2013. Sure some days I was sad, and others I was brimming with happiness. Other days can be in-between, and the rest all have their own titles.
My type of thinking applies to a lot of things. I believe that everything should be treated the same. Whether it be people, homework, or schools. In this case though, it's days. I think that every single day is important. I don't disagree in celebrating the end of the year, but the way we made our calendar just made it so that the last day of December would be that day. When people say, "We'll never experience another day like this in our lives." I think, "Well, I will also never experience yesterday, or the day before that, or the day before that ever again." I take everyday as I go along life, only stopping to think ahead when it's needed. Everyday is the same to me, regardless if it is the end of the year.
However that's not going to stop you is it?
Let me put my quote and number right here, so I can just end this post off in a nice way.
As of today, Decemeber 31, 2013, Kevin Zou is a 9 (woah, something that isn't an 8).
"Write it in your heart that everyday is the best day in the year." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
I hope everybody is safe and sound for the New Year's. Happy New Year's everybody. And of course...
谢谢
danke
σας ευχαριστώ
धन्यवाद
terima kasih
go raibh maith agat
grazie
ありがとう
감사합니다
با تشکر از شما
dziękuję
mulțumesc
спасибо
¡gracias
tack
teşekkür ederim
cảm ơn bạn
אַ דאַנק
thank you.
December 31, 2013
December 30, 2013
Analogy
Analogies
I've always been a fan of analogies. From the first time I saw them on some sort of exam I just really liked them. They help us throughout life, providing an explanation to things that otherwise are too difficult to understand.
So a day or two ago I signed in Google on my dad's computer (it was just on hand at the moment and I wanted to check my email). All the bookmarks suddenly changed and a few seconds of searching quickly proved that they were indeed my bookmarks. I deleted the bookmarks that were from my laptop (since my dad also has his) and left it at that.
Today I checked the history on my computer and found to my surprise that it was syncing the stuff (history, bookmarks, etc.) from my dad's computer. I spent a few minutes fiddling around and ultimately ended up deleting all my bookmarks. Another five or ten minutes passed and I ended up unsyncing my accounts from Google on both computers. That seemed to do the trick, but I was still left with the problem of the missing bookmarks.
Now my bookmarks are very precious to me. They keep note of things so that I won't forget. They're a shortcut to places on the internet. I actually keep a lot of bookmarks (although after a while I tend to completely clean out my bookmarks of useless ones), including my friends' blogs, converters, games that I plan to review (yes I'm sorry for not doing a review, but they're gone now), and other random things. I could list about two of them off the top of head, but from there I was done.
I put the two I knew down and decided to just start from scratch again.
My, that was a long backstory.
For today I've just been fooling around playing games (I'm sure anybody who was on Steam on Christmas was playing L4D2 as well), and didn't much use the browser. But I recently started to use it and I found that once I completed just a few minutes of browsing that I was really missing my bookmarks. As I visited sites, I thought, "Hey, shouldn't I be using this bookmark?"
So my analogy is kind of bad, but you can think what you want to think about it. To me, bookmarks are memories, and sites are events that occur in your life. The missing memories are due to amnesia (or in the case of the bookmarks, stupidity on my part) and as you go through daily routines, you know that something is missing. Eventually you regain your memory (bookmark) of that thing and that is... that.
Yeah... That's It.
It's been a bad post. I just felt like blurting this out, but it was probably a bad idea (considering I have to now think up of a new topic for tomorrow's obligatory end of the year post).
There's a bunch of chem to do (I've given up on math since I think I'm at a borderline A and that's a lower priority than chem) and there's barely a week left of break. I'll probably be doing chem on New Year's Day now that I think about it. Oh well. Hope you're having a better time than I am. I'm an 8 today. Thanks for reading.
"Some folk want their luck buttered." - Thomas Hardy
I've always been a fan of analogies. From the first time I saw them on some sort of exam I just really liked them. They help us throughout life, providing an explanation to things that otherwise are too difficult to understand.
So a day or two ago I signed in Google on my dad's computer (it was just on hand at the moment and I wanted to check my email). All the bookmarks suddenly changed and a few seconds of searching quickly proved that they were indeed my bookmarks. I deleted the bookmarks that were from my laptop (since my dad also has his) and left it at that.
Today I checked the history on my computer and found to my surprise that it was syncing the stuff (history, bookmarks, etc.) from my dad's computer. I spent a few minutes fiddling around and ultimately ended up deleting all my bookmarks. Another five or ten minutes passed and I ended up unsyncing my accounts from Google on both computers. That seemed to do the trick, but I was still left with the problem of the missing bookmarks.
Now my bookmarks are very precious to me. They keep note of things so that I won't forget. They're a shortcut to places on the internet. I actually keep a lot of bookmarks (although after a while I tend to completely clean out my bookmarks of useless ones), including my friends' blogs, converters, games that I plan to review (yes I'm sorry for not doing a review, but they're gone now), and other random things. I could list about two of them off the top of head, but from there I was done.
I put the two I knew down and decided to just start from scratch again.
My, that was a long backstory.
For today I've just been fooling around playing games (I'm sure anybody who was on Steam on Christmas was playing L4D2 as well), and didn't much use the browser. But I recently started to use it and I found that once I completed just a few minutes of browsing that I was really missing my bookmarks. As I visited sites, I thought, "Hey, shouldn't I be using this bookmark?"
So my analogy is kind of bad, but you can think what you want to think about it. To me, bookmarks are memories, and sites are events that occur in your life. The missing memories are due to amnesia (or in the case of the bookmarks, stupidity on my part) and as you go through daily routines, you know that something is missing. Eventually you regain your memory (bookmark) of that thing and that is... that.
Yeah... That's It.
It's been a bad post. I just felt like blurting this out, but it was probably a bad idea (considering I have to now think up of a new topic for tomorrow's obligatory end of the year post).
There's a bunch of chem to do (I've given up on math since I think I'm at a borderline A and that's a lower priority than chem) and there's barely a week left of break. I'll probably be doing chem on New Year's Day now that I think about it. Oh well. Hope you're having a better time than I am. I'm an 8 today. Thanks for reading.
"Some folk want their luck buttered." - Thomas Hardy
December 27, 2013
December's Almost Done
Time Passes Quickly
I remember when I was just new to my courses and how I so dreadfully wanted to preform well in them. After a week or two (or whatever the amount of time it took for me to get used to the new time table) I thought, "Wow, this is going to be a long year."
But honestly the past few months has just flown by and I'm already nearing the end of the semester. The timid and scared me seems to only be a few days ago and I can't believe that in around a month I'll already be done my courses (all of my courses are linear so I will indeed be done). If the first half of the school year has passed by so quickly, I really wonder if the next half will pass by just as quickly (if not quicker), or if it will actually drag on (thanks to the AP chem exam) like how I expected the first half to.
As with a lot of things, I guess the answer will come with time.
To The New Year
I don't really want to go all out on this whole the year is ending thing because I still plan to write another post for the end of the year. Maybe it's just because I felt like I needed to put a post up today and I actually have nothing else to write about. Life has been nice to me during this break. The party still lingers in my mind and brings happiness when I think about everything that happened and how much fun I had. I'm (somewhat lazily) doing my work and just being a potato couch for the rest of the day.
So that wraps up a bad and short post. I've been an 8 for the past few days, so why not keep it rolling? I'm an 8 again today. Until next time.
"One lives in the hope of becoming a memory." - Antonio Porchia
December 25, 2013
Merry Christmas
Let's Get That Out Of The Way
We all know that today is Christmas, so I'm not going to say Merry Christmas at the end, but instead at the beginning (regardless of how much I don't like starting with this). Hopefully everybody has had a nice day so far and will continue today into a great evening. Merry Christmas to each and every one of you. Sorry if this seems really fake and one-dimensional, but I want to let you know that I genuinely hope that everybody will actually have a merry Christmas.
Monday
I went to an extremely wonderful get-together with a few of my friends on Monday and I think that it was just really what I needed. Most (if not all) of us had a good time and what made it really nice for me was that it was the perfect way to start off the break and I kind of needed a party before I seriously started studying for chem and the Math Provincial (although less so for the latter).
So a quick thanks to everybody who went and made the party great. Without everybody there it wouldn't have been the same. I hope that our talks of another get-together during Spring Break (which is now two weeks long in SD41, hooray) will form into actual plans and that I'll be able to participate in another great day.
There's also a party I've been invited to attend in January, so that's something to look forward to in all the craziness that comes along with the new semester (and therefore new courses) and Provincials. I'm really glad that I have the friends that I have.
Focus Closure
If you've been following closely on me with my whole Apex and Focus tryouts thing, then this is the closure for all of that. In the end I did get an email from Focus, but the commute was too long and the other guy who was invited to join the team (along with me) didn't want to take the commute two days a week for the whole season. I was already declined from Apex, and my parents didn't exactly like the idea of me going off by myself on a thirty minute bus ride to Mountain. Ultimately that means that our team won't have any club players again, but hey, we did fine last season.
Thank you for following the whole hectic volleyball club thing if you have.
Goodnight
The break is already halfway through it's first week, so there will be about three quarters left of break. I plan to start working tomorrow (doing some math and learning about solubility in chem) and hopefully I'll get enough done to be able to slack off for most of the time during the rest of break. I actually want to get some anime series out of the way and done with (including Golden Time, Log Horizon, and Beyond the Boundary), but only Beyond the Boundary is finished, so the other two I won't be finished for a while.
Well, I'm off to finish a few more episodes of Beyond the Boundary. As always (even though I might not say it), thanks for reading, and you'll read from me in the next post. Kevin's an 8 today.
"The sweetest of all sounds is praise." - Xenophon
We all know that today is Christmas, so I'm not going to say Merry Christmas at the end, but instead at the beginning (regardless of how much I don't like starting with this). Hopefully everybody has had a nice day so far and will continue today into a great evening. Merry Christmas to each and every one of you. Sorry if this seems really fake and one-dimensional, but I want to let you know that I genuinely hope that everybody will actually have a merry Christmas.
Monday
I went to an extremely wonderful get-together with a few of my friends on Monday and I think that it was just really what I needed. Most (if not all) of us had a good time and what made it really nice for me was that it was the perfect way to start off the break and I kind of needed a party before I seriously started studying for chem and the Math Provincial (although less so for the latter).
So a quick thanks to everybody who went and made the party great. Without everybody there it wouldn't have been the same. I hope that our talks of another get-together during Spring Break (which is now two weeks long in SD41, hooray) will form into actual plans and that I'll be able to participate in another great day.
There's also a party I've been invited to attend in January, so that's something to look forward to in all the craziness that comes along with the new semester (and therefore new courses) and Provincials. I'm really glad that I have the friends that I have.
Focus Closure
If you've been following closely on me with my whole Apex and Focus tryouts thing, then this is the closure for all of that. In the end I did get an email from Focus, but the commute was too long and the other guy who was invited to join the team (along with me) didn't want to take the commute two days a week for the whole season. I was already declined from Apex, and my parents didn't exactly like the idea of me going off by myself on a thirty minute bus ride to Mountain. Ultimately that means that our team won't have any club players again, but hey, we did fine last season.
Thank you for following the whole hectic volleyball club thing if you have.
Goodnight
The break is already halfway through it's first week, so there will be about three quarters left of break. I plan to start working tomorrow (doing some math and learning about solubility in chem) and hopefully I'll get enough done to be able to slack off for most of the time during the rest of break. I actually want to get some anime series out of the way and done with (including Golden Time, Log Horizon, and Beyond the Boundary), but only Beyond the Boundary is finished, so the other two I won't be finished for a while.
Well, I'm off to finish a few more episodes of Beyond the Boundary. As always (even though I might not say it), thanks for reading, and you'll read from me in the next post. Kevin's an 8 today.
"The sweetest of all sounds is praise." - Xenophon
December 21, 2013
Break
Game Review
Before you jump to any conclusions, you should know that this is not a game review. It's just the title for a new topic. Hopefully I'll be getting one up relatively soon, but that's why I decided to write this little bit before hitting the solid material.
To be frank, I have not played any games that have caught my eye. Lately my days consist of me talking to people on social media, listening to music, cramming for chemistry tests, and playing a FPS and a rhythm game. Of course the FPS and rhythm game aren't... right for a game review here, so don't worry, there will be no terribad review.
The next few days I'll continue my search for a worthwhile game. Until then, just hold onto your seats.
Finally Break.
The last period of the last day before break hits us is funny. Everybody is buzzing with the excitement of the winter holidays and (of course) the absence of responsibility soon to come. Gifts are being thrown at friends, and the air has a tingly feel to it. There is the lingering smell of pancakes coming from Gibney's room and everybody is just taking the last day off. Grade 10 students sigh relief as they realize that they get more time for their upcoming Provincials. Everybody (except of course for grade eights) is looking forward to the new year and the end of semester. The pancake lunch decorations are still hanging up, some now drooping. Chemistry carols are being sung in chem class.
I like it.
For the next while or so I'll just be majorly slacking off. After the Christmas party passes by, I'll give myself another day or two to get prepared and start working on my chem (we essentially have to learn the solubility unit by ourselves over break). Provincials are coming up. I have my Math Provincial relatively soon, but I think I've said that I'm not really spending too many resources on that. The few days after break will be really tough.
Her.
There are four of them. I wonder if they still read this. I wonder if they ever did. Maybe.
I know the first one is off having a very nice time where she is. She and I have fallen out of contact, regardless of what either of us want to believe. I don't think there's anything to say here. This is done.
The second one I'm not done with though. I think that I didn't do everything right, including the end. A lot of the time when I hear about her there's usually something negative around her. I wonder if her high school has changed her. Maybe if I had gone then I could have helped.
Number three. I don't know what to think about this one. It was so real for that period of time. And then it just fell apart because of my mistake. I feel sorry because there's a lot going on with number three. I feel sorry because it was me who did the wrong thing and I was the one to drag her into it.
The latest one. Ever since her I've just been rolling by myself. This one represents change. We had a really nice friendship and I messed it up. I regret this one and wish that it never happened. It really just ruined everything. Up to now. Everything would be different.
All of them mean something. The first one: moving on. She's gone and she doesn't need me. It hurts because she used to be a part of my life, but now she isn't. I'm done with it. She's done with it. The second one: cause and affect. I keep on thinking that I can change something in her life. That if I had kept it going, then maybe she wouldn't be so bad off. The third one: stupidness. I rushed into it. I caused everything to fall apart. I set us up with good intentions. A weak foundation. It was all my fault. The fourth one: regret. I regret everything with this one. I wish it never happened. It perpetually messed our friendship up.
Well that was kind of stupid. I'll probably regret it later. Or not. I don't know. I don't mean anything hurtful. I liked all four genuinely. These are just my thoughts in retrospect.
That's It.
I am done for this post. There is absolutely nothing else to spill, and even if there was, I would've stopped here since I'm somewhat tired and you probably are after reading that giant page of text. Sorry for keeping you here reading my attempt at something that has meaning to it. It's a pathetic attempt.
Because I promised somebody that I was this number today, I will say it. I said I was an 8 and I'm obligated to stand by it. Thanks for reading.
"Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open." - John Barrymore
Before you jump to any conclusions, you should know that this is not a game review. It's just the title for a new topic. Hopefully I'll be getting one up relatively soon, but that's why I decided to write this little bit before hitting the solid material.
To be frank, I have not played any games that have caught my eye. Lately my days consist of me talking to people on social media, listening to music, cramming for chemistry tests, and playing a FPS and a rhythm game. Of course the FPS and rhythm game aren't... right for a game review here, so don't worry, there will be no terribad review.
The next few days I'll continue my search for a worthwhile game. Until then, just hold onto your seats.
Finally Break.
The last period of the last day before break hits us is funny. Everybody is buzzing with the excitement of the winter holidays and (of course) the absence of responsibility soon to come. Gifts are being thrown at friends, and the air has a tingly feel to it. There is the lingering smell of pancakes coming from Gibney's room and everybody is just taking the last day off. Grade 10 students sigh relief as they realize that they get more time for their upcoming Provincials. Everybody (except of course for grade eights) is looking forward to the new year and the end of semester. The pancake lunch decorations are still hanging up, some now drooping. Chemistry carols are being sung in chem class.
I like it.
For the next while or so I'll just be majorly slacking off. After the Christmas party passes by, I'll give myself another day or two to get prepared and start working on my chem (we essentially have to learn the solubility unit by ourselves over break). Provincials are coming up. I have my Math Provincial relatively soon, but I think I've said that I'm not really spending too many resources on that. The few days after break will be really tough.
Her.
There are four of them. I wonder if they still read this. I wonder if they ever did. Maybe.
I know the first one is off having a very nice time where she is. She and I have fallen out of contact, regardless of what either of us want to believe. I don't think there's anything to say here. This is done.
The second one I'm not done with though. I think that I didn't do everything right, including the end. A lot of the time when I hear about her there's usually something negative around her. I wonder if her high school has changed her. Maybe if I had gone then I could have helped.
Number three. I don't know what to think about this one. It was so real for that period of time. And then it just fell apart because of my mistake. I feel sorry because there's a lot going on with number three. I feel sorry because it was me who did the wrong thing and I was the one to drag her into it.
The latest one. Ever since her I've just been rolling by myself. This one represents change. We had a really nice friendship and I messed it up. I regret this one and wish that it never happened. It really just ruined everything. Up to now. Everything would be different.
All of them mean something. The first one: moving on. She's gone and she doesn't need me. It hurts because she used to be a part of my life, but now she isn't. I'm done with it. She's done with it. The second one: cause and affect. I keep on thinking that I can change something in her life. That if I had kept it going, then maybe she wouldn't be so bad off. The third one: stupidness. I rushed into it. I caused everything to fall apart. I set us up with good intentions. A weak foundation. It was all my fault. The fourth one: regret. I regret everything with this one. I wish it never happened. It perpetually messed our friendship up.
Well that was kind of stupid. I'll probably regret it later. Or not. I don't know. I don't mean anything hurtful. I liked all four genuinely. These are just my thoughts in retrospect.
That's It.
I am done for this post. There is absolutely nothing else to spill, and even if there was, I would've stopped here since I'm somewhat tired and you probably are after reading that giant page of text. Sorry for keeping you here reading my attempt at something that has meaning to it. It's a pathetic attempt.
Because I promised somebody that I was this number today, I will say it. I said I was an 8 and I'm obligated to stand by it. Thanks for reading.
"Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open." - John Barrymore
December 19, 2013
Well This Is Depressing
No Focus
So it's just natural that something like this would happen. I got an email last night from Focus saying that I was invited to join the team, but of course I would be unable to get a ride there. My parents are really protective of me and won't allow me to go by myself, and the other friend who made it in doesn't want to go.
Anyhow, that kind of just put a damp cloth over my day. Might as well put that out there before you wonder why this post seems kind of weird.
Lows
With high moments in life come low moments in life, and this definitely feels like a low. I have a math test and a chemistry test tomorrow, and everything just seems to be going really badly. I feel really unfit just because for the past four P.E. classes I've done nothing but preform amateur CPR on Resusci Anne. So everything just feels really bad.
Ride It Out
Like a tornado, or an earthquake, you just have to "ride it out". Sure the next day or two will be terrible, but the days after should be fine (I plan for them to be, but somebody upstairs just keeps on finding some way to screw my plans up). Looking forward to break. Sorry for the short (and bad) post today.
I'm a 6. Maybe halfway between 6 and 7. Up to you between those options.
"I feel we are all islands - in a common sea." - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
So it's just natural that something like this would happen. I got an email last night from Focus saying that I was invited to join the team, but of course I would be unable to get a ride there. My parents are really protective of me and won't allow me to go by myself, and the other friend who made it in doesn't want to go.
Anyhow, that kind of just put a damp cloth over my day. Might as well put that out there before you wonder why this post seems kind of weird.
Lows
With high moments in life come low moments in life, and this definitely feels like a low. I have a math test and a chemistry test tomorrow, and everything just seems to be going really badly. I feel really unfit just because for the past four P.E. classes I've done nothing but preform amateur CPR on Resusci Anne. So everything just feels really bad.
Ride It Out
Like a tornado, or an earthquake, you just have to "ride it out". Sure the next day or two will be terrible, but the days after should be fine (I plan for them to be, but somebody upstairs just keeps on finding some way to screw my plans up). Looking forward to break. Sorry for the short (and bad) post today.
I'm a 6. Maybe halfway between 6 and 7. Up to you between those options.
"I feel we are all islands - in a common sea." - Anne Morrow Lindbergh
December 16, 2013
The City At Night
N. Boundary and Albert
I was walking home late (or at least it seems late with the shortened days) from a friend's place and I stumbled onto just the most amazing view on N. Boundary and Albert. The view was so spectacular. To some it's just the city at night, but to me it's the liveliness of the whole place. The intersection is perched on a hill, so you can see pretty far. It just made me realize how small I really am.
Oh, and while I was walking on Hastings I met a raccoon on the sidewalk. At first I thought it was a (stray) dog without an owner, but as we approached each other, I realized it was actually a raccoon. Once he reached within three meters of me, he just swerved to the side and hid under a car. Almost immediately after he left the car and continued up the street ahead of me, much to the bewilderment of pedestrians.
Oh the city at night.
Thinking
Whoops, did I just start the last two paragraphs with "Oh"?
Lately I've been thinking about this one thing a lot. It's a... situation. Sometimes I wonder what could have been different if I did that differently, or if I did this differently. Then I remember that I'm contradicting myself because whenever somebody comes up with those if questions, I tell them that there is no point in wondering because you will never know.
Yet I still dwell on this because it's something that really just messed up my life. I hope that it isn't perpetual, but now I see signs of hope dashed here and there. However the higher your hopes the harder the fall. It's just another proverb type of thing that people like to say to make themselves sound smart.
While We're On Proverbs
I really like how a lot of the time people will switch their beliefs in order to support their argument at a certain time. For example, if your friend has just been dumped by his/her partner, you might say something like, "You're strong, you can get over it." But when you're the one who has been shot, then all of the sudden it's like, "I can't live without this person." It's funny. In the end there's just a lot of contradicting.
Look at the time. I've kept you here long enough. Thanks for checking in on this blog and I hope I'll see you another day. By the way, I really enjoy the Christmas air, regardless of what I said in that one post about me disliking holidays. Although everybody might be putting on mask, I suppose it doesn't really matter either way. I'm an 8 today.
"To find a friend one must close one eye. To keep him, two." - Norman Douglas
I was walking home late (or at least it seems late with the shortened days) from a friend's place and I stumbled onto just the most amazing view on N. Boundary and Albert. The view was so spectacular. To some it's just the city at night, but to me it's the liveliness of the whole place. The intersection is perched on a hill, so you can see pretty far. It just made me realize how small I really am.
Oh the city at night.
Thinking
Whoops, did I just start the last two paragraphs with "Oh"?
Lately I've been thinking about this one thing a lot. It's a... situation. Sometimes I wonder what could have been different if I did that differently, or if I did this differently. Then I remember that I'm contradicting myself because whenever somebody comes up with those if questions, I tell them that there is no point in wondering because you will never know.
Yet I still dwell on this because it's something that really just messed up my life. I hope that it isn't perpetual, but now I see signs of hope dashed here and there. However the higher your hopes the harder the fall. It's just another proverb type of thing that people like to say to make themselves sound smart.
While We're On Proverbs
I really like how a lot of the time people will switch their beliefs in order to support their argument at a certain time. For example, if your friend has just been dumped by his/her partner, you might say something like, "You're strong, you can get over it." But when you're the one who has been shot, then all of the sudden it's like, "I can't live without this person." It's funny. In the end there's just a lot of contradicting.
Look at the time. I've kept you here long enough. Thanks for checking in on this blog and I hope I'll see you another day. By the way, I really enjoy the Christmas air, regardless of what I said in that one post about me disliking holidays. Although everybody might be putting on mask, I suppose it doesn't really matter either way. I'm an 8 today.
"To find a friend one must close one eye. To keep him, two." - Norman Douglas
December 14, 2013
Today Feels Like A Blogging Day
Hey, What Can I Say?
Maybe it's the huge cauldron of simmering thoughts in my mind. Maybe it's because I'm still a bit hyped and energized after the Focus tryouts. It could be a lot of things, but one thing that I know for sure is that today feels like a blogging day. Feel free to stick around and read, but if you're one of those people that just don't enjoy reading "filler" posts, then you can go ahead and leave (actually, I'm trying to make this not a filler post).
Goodbyes
So I was rereading a few things from my co-op blog (now unfortunately dead) and I stumbled upon this unpublished (probably done purposefully) post from the other author. Now I've read this letter a few times and every time I read it I do feel a bit uneasy inside. I feel like I've left a lot of things untied and now I'm not sure where I stand with my old friends. I try not to think about it a lot, but I wonder if we still count as friends or if we just know each other.
There's a fine line between those two. For some people I have definitely crossed over to the just know each other side. Other people I have desperately tried to keep at friends, but sadly I don't know what they think of me. And of course there are always the people who have forgotten Kevin. I'm just a small memory in the back of their head based on how little or how much interaction we had in the past. But the big thing is that I'm not there anymore.
I've always thought about visiting my friends at Tech. According to some friends, I'm known relatively well at Tech. It makes me happy to hear that because it means that I'm still being remembered by somebody. But every time a day off comes along I find some reason (legitimate or not) to not go. So sometimes I wonder if I've actually moved on.
Anyhow, if you have fallen out of contact with me, I'm sorry. I have two lives, in a way. One that resides at Begbie, and the other that lives on at Alpha. Every once in a while I wear the life that brings me back to a few years ago, but it's safe to say that I'm almost living the Alpha life every single day now. So sorry for never giving a proper goodbye.
... And That Wraps It Up
That's it for this post. After this I'll probably just end up chatting on Facebook for a bit more and then showering.
Just another week until break. Today I'm an 8.
"Come live in my heart, and pay no rent." - Samuel Lover
Maybe it's the huge cauldron of simmering thoughts in my mind. Maybe it's because I'm still a bit hyped and energized after the Focus tryouts. It could be a lot of things, but one thing that I know for sure is that today feels like a blogging day. Feel free to stick around and read, but if you're one of those people that just don't enjoy reading "filler" posts, then you can go ahead and leave (actually, I'm trying to make this not a filler post).
Goodbyes
So I was rereading a few things from my co-op blog (now unfortunately dead) and I stumbled upon this unpublished (probably done purposefully) post from the other author. Now I've read this letter a few times and every time I read it I do feel a bit uneasy inside. I feel like I've left a lot of things untied and now I'm not sure where I stand with my old friends. I try not to think about it a lot, but I wonder if we still count as friends or if we just know each other.
There's a fine line between those two. For some people I have definitely crossed over to the just know each other side. Other people I have desperately tried to keep at friends, but sadly I don't know what they think of me. And of course there are always the people who have forgotten Kevin. I'm just a small memory in the back of their head based on how little or how much interaction we had in the past. But the big thing is that I'm not there anymore.
I've always thought about visiting my friends at Tech. According to some friends, I'm known relatively well at Tech. It makes me happy to hear that because it means that I'm still being remembered by somebody. But every time a day off comes along I find some reason (legitimate or not) to not go. So sometimes I wonder if I've actually moved on.
Anyhow, if you have fallen out of contact with me, I'm sorry. I have two lives, in a way. One that resides at Begbie, and the other that lives on at Alpha. Every once in a while I wear the life that brings me back to a few years ago, but it's safe to say that I'm almost living the Alpha life every single day now. So sorry for never giving a proper goodbye.
... And That Wraps It Up
That's it for this post. After this I'll probably just end up chatting on Facebook for a bit more and then showering.
Just another week until break. Today I'm an 8.
"Come live in my heart, and pay no rent." - Samuel Lover
December 13, 2013
Breather
The weekend is finally here (yay) and I can kind of relax (there's still a mountain of math to do) and just step away from everything that's happened this week. Second Focus tryout this Saturday (I'm pretty sure I'm not going to make cuts in my semi-sick state), so I'm also pretty excited for that. Speaking of Saturdays, I haven't been to a Spud Patrol in a very long time because my cousin just isn't around to go with me anymore (so that's kind of sad).
Another huge thing is that winter break is coming up (and of course along with that, Christmas), so I'm very excited to just clock in some more hours of sleep and finish any work that needs finishing. Fortunately this year I won't have to spend it thinking about my science fair project. My Math Provincial is actually coming up pretty soon (January 30), but honestly I've just been having a lot of fun (in terms of learning) with the course and I feel confident about it.
And while I'm looking so far ahead in the past, I might as well mention a few blog stats. This is the 329th post on my blog, which means that I'll be hitting number 350 sometime around the start of 2014. According to past stats (working with stats on a monthly basis), I should be having a drop in views right now, but I'm hoping that this is a gradual increase and not some sort of sporadic pattern.
Not A Bad Week...
This week has definitely been one of the better ones. Actually, this Friday was really easy on me. P.E. was just skating, Chem was a "work block", French was just a test (I finished early and hung out with friends in Science 10 for the rest of the block), and in Math I finished a few worksheets and got back test results. So... a really good day (in comparison to the rest of the week).
Of course there's other things that happened, but those things don't have a place here.
End On A Good Note
I might as well end this post on a good note, so I'll end it right here. Thanks for reading and thank you for your continual support (that is, if you have given any). The next post will probably be on Sunday or Monday (something like that), but I feel like it's leaning more towards Monday. I guess you'll figure it out in a few days.
Goodbye for now. I am an 8.
"Enthusiasm moves the world." - Arthur Balfour
December 12, 2013
Photos
Looking Back
So I just finished rearranging the photos in this mini photo album that I've had in my drawer for what seems like the day I was born. It has a bunch of pictures from when I was around (my guess) five years of age and then it jumps from there to some other random point of time. I realized that I was missing a baby picture of myself, so I decided to dig through my family's giant photo album and snatch one from there (I can now say that there is a missing photo in the album among all my baby pictures).
All the photos in my little album are in (roughly) chronological order. Me being me, I took out all of them so I could put the baby picture where it should be. Right at the start. While I was looking through the photos, I realized that I was missing a lot of photos from my last few years of elementary and my first year of high school. I remember there two really just great friends printed off a bunch of us together having an amazing time, and they put it on my locker for my birthday.
On the last day of school (or near that time anyhow) we had to clean out our lockers. I found in my locker the same wallpaper and photos on it that those two had made for me. I didn't know what to do with it. Some part of me wanted to keep it, because I hoped that we would have more of those moments frozen in time together, but another part of me wanted to just trash it. I ended up doing something silly (flipping a coin probably) to ultimately decide what I would do with it. As fate had it, the coin flipped a certain way and I threw it away.
Honestly that is one of my biggest regrets in my life. Those frozen moments in time I can never get back, and the way things are looking right now (mostly because of me), I will never be able to have that type of moment again with them. So I'm sad because of that. But happy because it happened.
One day I hope that the album will be filled and when I die that it will be shown at my funeral. I hope that the people who are caught in that frame of time with me will be able to smile and remember lost times.
But I guess I've got a long way to go.
Dating.
My mom asked me last night if I had a girlfriend (which I honestly and quickly replied no to), but that has sparked the next topic for this post. So I've decided to just get it over with and speak my view on dating (at this age at least).
No. I think there should be no dating at this age. I've said this before maybe once or twice, but I just don't agree with it. Of course, I've been stupid and I've done things like that, but after being able to think about it without the influence of being in a "relationship", I think that's it's just a bad idea in general.
I think that high school love is short lived. You meet new people, and you feel attraction towards them. Of course with new people new love interests start. Some of my friends started dating and I can say that almost every single relationship has ended within a year.
But then what's the point? What is the point of breaking hearts and being heart broken? I think that you're just setting yourself up for a painful experience when you jump into a relationship irrationally. I'm not saying that I despise on everybody who's in a relationship right now (I actually wish them the best of luck). These are just my thoughts.
I'm Stupid ^-^
I've just done some stupid things in life. Hope this won't be one of them... again.
Goodnight. I'm an 8 today. I've actually been an 8 for a while. Hopefully that'll stick around.
"The finest steel has to go through the hottest fire." Richard M. Nixon
So I just finished rearranging the photos in this mini photo album that I've had in my drawer for what seems like the day I was born. It has a bunch of pictures from when I was around (my guess) five years of age and then it jumps from there to some other random point of time. I realized that I was missing a baby picture of myself, so I decided to dig through my family's giant photo album and snatch one from there (I can now say that there is a missing photo in the album among all my baby pictures).
All the photos in my little album are in (roughly) chronological order. Me being me, I took out all of them so I could put the baby picture where it should be. Right at the start. While I was looking through the photos, I realized that I was missing a lot of photos from my last few years of elementary and my first year of high school. I remember there two really just great friends printed off a bunch of us together having an amazing time, and they put it on my locker for my birthday.
On the last day of school (or near that time anyhow) we had to clean out our lockers. I found in my locker the same wallpaper and photos on it that those two had made for me. I didn't know what to do with it. Some part of me wanted to keep it, because I hoped that we would have more of those moments frozen in time together, but another part of me wanted to just trash it. I ended up doing something silly (flipping a coin probably) to ultimately decide what I would do with it. As fate had it, the coin flipped a certain way and I threw it away.
Honestly that is one of my biggest regrets in my life. Those frozen moments in time I can never get back, and the way things are looking right now (mostly because of me), I will never be able to have that type of moment again with them. So I'm sad because of that. But happy because it happened.
One day I hope that the album will be filled and when I die that it will be shown at my funeral. I hope that the people who are caught in that frame of time with me will be able to smile and remember lost times.
But I guess I've got a long way to go.
Dating.
My mom asked me last night if I had a girlfriend (which I honestly and quickly replied no to), but that has sparked the next topic for this post. So I've decided to just get it over with and speak my view on dating (at this age at least).
No. I think there should be no dating at this age. I've said this before maybe once or twice, but I just don't agree with it. Of course, I've been stupid and I've done things like that, but after being able to think about it without the influence of being in a "relationship", I think that's it's just a bad idea in general.
I think that high school love is short lived. You meet new people, and you feel attraction towards them. Of course with new people new love interests start. Some of my friends started dating and I can say that almost every single relationship has ended within a year.
But then what's the point? What is the point of breaking hearts and being heart broken? I think that you're just setting yourself up for a painful experience when you jump into a relationship irrationally. I'm not saying that I despise on everybody who's in a relationship right now (I actually wish them the best of luck). These are just my thoughts.
I'm Stupid ^-^
I've just done some stupid things in life. Hope this won't be one of them... again.
Goodnight. I'm an 8 today. I've actually been an 8 for a while. Hopefully that'll stick around.
"The finest steel has to go through the hottest fire." Richard M. Nixon
December 9, 2013
Affect
Effect Vs. Affect
Before I can go on about affect, you have to know what it means. If you already know, then go ahead and click here to get to the next topic. If you're a bit wobbly on where the line is drawn, keep on reading.
Affect means to have an effect on or to make a difference to. Effect is a change that is a result or consequence of an action or another cause. I used to be confused between the use of these two, but now I think I have a very clear meaning for these two words.
My rule of thumb for when to use effect and when to use affect is if you're talking about a feeling or emotion or interaction between living things use affect and if you're talking about something non-living or something consequential use effect. Feel free to use whatever you want as long as you get what it means. Anyhow, onto the actual topic of conversation.
Affect.
Today there were two people in my French 9 class that seemed off. One of them was a student, and the other was actually the teacher. The student seemed off in the way that he was not his usual raucous self, but instead was kind of down and depressed. The teacher was off because she was snapping at everybody without warning and seemed like she was just lashing out at everybody.
First of all, I just want to say that the student and I aren't the best of friends. We don't have anything against each other, but we're just friends. However I'm not enough of a friend to him to be able to have the... right (does that work?) to try and comfort him. I feel like I'd just make him worse. Anyhow, there were rumours of his girlfriend breaking up with him or whatever, and honestly, I think that is the case.
But I don't think just because your girlfriend (or boyfriend in some cases) broke up with you gives you any right to just walk into a class and affecting everybody majorly. If you're mad or sad, then you stay home, or you keep those things to yourself. I try to leave my personal life and school life separate.
I don't want to sound like an ass or anything, so I will say that I genuinely do feel bad for the guy. The past few days I've seen him he's been much more vibrant and joyful mood, and now just to see him like this... well, who wouldn't feel bad? One thing I do want to say is that I would've just wanted him to stay home. If he was really that miserable (enough to be angrily pushing chairs aside), then he should've just stayed home. No point in going to school.
Oh, and everybody should stop being an idiot and teasing him about it.
Now for the teacher. At times it seemed like she was okay, and at other times... no. She seemed a bit angry, and I remember that she did mention that at the start of Term 2 she'd be teaching another block before us. The teacher said that she'd probably be very moody by the time she got us in third block, but... I don't know. Something felt wrong, but I'm not one to poke into her business. I would've preferred if she just made an announcement about how she was feeling off and for us to behave properly (for once), but that's already expected out of us.
Overall just a really bad French block.
My, That Was Long.
Sorry for keeping you here for so long. I'll keep the ending short and snappy.
I'm an 8 today. Fortunately French class didn't put me in a bad mood. Shout out to Viola and Hamish, who are our new grade eight and grade ten rep (respectively). There was also another grade eight rep, but I don't actually know who he is, so I can't really shout out (congrats to him though).
"The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." - Don Herold
Before I can go on about affect, you have to know what it means. If you already know, then go ahead and click here to get to the next topic. If you're a bit wobbly on where the line is drawn, keep on reading.
Affect means to have an effect on or to make a difference to. Effect is a change that is a result or consequence of an action or another cause. I used to be confused between the use of these two, but now I think I have a very clear meaning for these two words.
My rule of thumb for when to use effect and when to use affect is if you're talking about a feeling or emotion or interaction between living things use affect and if you're talking about something non-living or something consequential use effect. Feel free to use whatever you want as long as you get what it means. Anyhow, onto the actual topic of conversation.
Affect.
Today there were two people in my French 9 class that seemed off. One of them was a student, and the other was actually the teacher. The student seemed off in the way that he was not his usual raucous self, but instead was kind of down and depressed. The teacher was off because she was snapping at everybody without warning and seemed like she was just lashing out at everybody.
First of all, I just want to say that the student and I aren't the best of friends. We don't have anything against each other, but we're just friends. However I'm not enough of a friend to him to be able to have the... right (does that work?) to try and comfort him. I feel like I'd just make him worse. Anyhow, there were rumours of his girlfriend breaking up with him or whatever, and honestly, I think that is the case.
But I don't think just because your girlfriend (or boyfriend in some cases) broke up with you gives you any right to just walk into a class and affecting everybody majorly. If you're mad or sad, then you stay home, or you keep those things to yourself. I try to leave my personal life and school life separate.
I don't want to sound like an ass or anything, so I will say that I genuinely do feel bad for the guy. The past few days I've seen him he's been much more vibrant and joyful mood, and now just to see him like this... well, who wouldn't feel bad? One thing I do want to say is that I would've just wanted him to stay home. If he was really that miserable (enough to be angrily pushing chairs aside), then he should've just stayed home. No point in going to school.
Oh, and everybody should stop being an idiot and teasing him about it.
Now for the teacher. At times it seemed like she was okay, and at other times... no. She seemed a bit angry, and I remember that she did mention that at the start of Term 2 she'd be teaching another block before us. The teacher said that she'd probably be very moody by the time she got us in third block, but... I don't know. Something felt wrong, but I'm not one to poke into her business. I would've preferred if she just made an announcement about how she was feeling off and for us to behave properly (for once), but that's already expected out of us.
Overall just a really bad French block.
My, That Was Long.
Sorry for keeping you here for so long. I'll keep the ending short and snappy.
I'm an 8 today. Fortunately French class didn't put me in a bad mood. Shout out to Viola and Hamish, who are our new grade eight and grade ten rep (respectively). There was also another grade eight rep, but I don't actually know who he is, so I can't really shout out (congrats to him though).
"The brighter you are, the more you have to learn." - Don Herold
December 7, 2013
New Design (Finally)
It's yet again that time of any blog's natural lifespan. The design change. A metaphorical face lift if you will (since I'm not changing anything under the "skin"). Anyhow, as I usually do, I will run quickly through what I did to get to this point of design for the blog.
Essentially I just searched up for some clean templates from a different source. My other source had really boring and repetitive designs, so I ended up finding this template from my new source. I messed around with the widgets, swapped the custom-made social media icons for the template-made ones, and (as a last minute decision) made a new favicon and a header for the blog.
As with most templates, they are not perfect. The one thing that I do not like about this template is that the blog posts do not have the date, but instead the time. I'll try to look into that for the next bit, but if I can't find a solution, you'll either have to live with it for a while or I'll temporarily switch back to the last design. So... hope you like the new design. If you find any bugs or anything just leave a comment, send me an email or something.
Children Are Investments
This saying sounds strangely familiar to me. Children are investments. I think it's... true. People spend time, money, and love on us, in hopes of us being able to return all of those back to them with profit. You don't really hear the words "children" and "investment" together in a sentence, but I think that in this case, it makes a very powerful sentence.
Honestly I don't know if I'm a good investment. I feel like I will grow up to be a disappointment to my family, but I will be happy with myself because I'd like to believe that I have low standards of happiness (that it doesn't take me much to be happy). Of course I'm not striving to be a disappointment, but I hope that my family is prepared if I do become one. In fact, it's not even in my life plan to be one.
I think everybody hits a point in life where they are forced to make a huge decision that will affect them and the route that their life takes. When I think about this, I wonder if I've passed that point already. Then again, there might be more than just one point. It might vary from person to person.
I'm Done Here.
My Saturday is an 8. It's definitely far from being bad, but there is something missing. I'm still sick (probably got worse over last night) and now I have a wet cough. Fortunately it may be the last symptom after a sore throat. Fingers crossed that I'll be better by tomorrow morning and I'll be able to enjoy my Sunday (well, as much as I can with the homework I have). Thanks for reading this post, hope you'll be reading the next one.
"The trouble with life isn't that there is no answer, it's that there are so many answers." - Ruth Benedict
December 6, 2013
What Do I Say?
There's Not Much Happening
Most of the stuff that's been happening is pretty minor and not really worth the talk on this blog. The major things that have happened are for my personal thought and consideration. I think it's better if I keep those thoughts to myself. So in a way, a lot of stuff has happened, but all of it is either not blog worthy or for my personal thoughts. I suppose that's how it's been since the start.
By the way. I dropped another project (yes, the lyric video) and got declined from Apex (along with the other two guys I was going with). I really enjoyed going to the tryouts though because I probably learned a lot more from them than sitting at home doing nothing. Focus tryouts this weekend and next weekend. These are the things on my mind.
Obligatory Update: Done
Really short post today everybody. Hopefully whatever deity watching over me will throw something into my life to make it more interesting than it appears in this post, but for now, that's it.
I'm a 7 today. Thanks for reading. Until the next post.
"To forget oneself is to be happy." - Robert Louis Stevenson
Most of the stuff that's been happening is pretty minor and not really worth the talk on this blog. The major things that have happened are for my personal thought and consideration. I think it's better if I keep those thoughts to myself. So in a way, a lot of stuff has happened, but all of it is either not blog worthy or for my personal thoughts. I suppose that's how it's been since the start.
By the way. I dropped another project (yes, the lyric video) and got declined from Apex (along with the other two guys I was going with). I really enjoyed going to the tryouts though because I probably learned a lot more from them than sitting at home doing nothing. Focus tryouts this weekend and next weekend. These are the things on my mind.
Obligatory Update: Done
Really short post today everybody. Hopefully whatever deity watching over me will throw something into my life to make it more interesting than it appears in this post, but for now, that's it.
I'm a 7 today. Thanks for reading. Until the next post.
"To forget oneself is to be happy." - Robert Louis Stevenson
December 2, 2013
December
My French 9 class recently finished the movie Midnight In Paris (I liked it), and the one thing that I got from it was this term called "Golden Age thinking". I was intrigued by this idea and found myself thinking about it for a while.
"Nostalgia is denial - denial of the painful present... the name for this denial is golden age thinking 0 the erroneous notion that a different time period is better than the one ones living in - its a flaw in the romantic imagination of those people who find it difficult to cope with the present." - Midnight In Paris
I have definitely not lived enough years to even remotely experience Golden Age thinking, but I think that I feel it to some extent. For sure, I find it difficult to cope with the present. When I look back at my Facebook profile and scroll back to my first year of high school, I feel a pang of extreme nostalgia. I can see how ignorant, inexperienced, and... plain stupid I was. The relationships that I had with my friends... they've changed so much over the span of just a year.
Yes, I feel nostalgia. I want to go back to that time. Do I regret what I've done? I don't know what I've done so far. Am I happy with life? No, but then again, I think there is no way that anybody can be happy with life. Even if we are happy, we find things to be unhappy about.
New Month
Wow. This much time has already passed. It seems like just yesterday I was getting to know all the new people I've met. I can't say that I've fallen into a balanced routine of school and friends and leisure activities, but at this point of life, I wouldn't say that it's unbearable. While I don't particularly enjoy this period of my life, I don't hate it either. I live because there's nothing else to do.
Anyhow. Cheers to a new month. I started off this month with a sore throat and throbbing headache, but hopefully the rest of Decemeber will compensate for it. I am a 7 today. I'm actually really excited for the grade eight elections. Can't wait to see the new leaders of the school.
"Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced." - Soren Kierkegaard
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