june 7

They ask me, "How are you getting home?"

I slow down as I'm stuffing my cleats into my bag, and I say, "Oh just bus," and I can practically feel how awkward the air becomes. The neighbourhood surrounding the park we just played at doesn't scream safe and happy, and it's gotten pretty dark.

Yeah those two left earlier. So did the other two. I don't think it's their fault though, they probably had their own things to do that night so I don't blame them for not giving me a ride home. I really don't. They don't have a reason to anyways, so why is it that I always feel bad whenever they leave?

"Couldn't you ask _____ and _____ for a ride?"

I make an excuse about how they don't live in the same area that I do, even though I don't k now where they live at all.

The remains of the team stop and process the situation. They're all biking home, like they usually do, and I'm busing home, like I usually do.

"Hey, just hop on the back of my bike and we'll drop you off at the station!" one of them says.

I refuse, I couldn't do something like that.

She insists, and the rest of the team chimes in and agrees. I give in and I waddle over to her bike, asking how we should do this. She cheerfully says I can take the seat since she's not going to be sitting or I can sit on the little rack she has on the back wheel. I take the rack.

At first things are unsteady. We're wobbling and I can tell that she's having trouble adjusting to an extra 140 pounds on the back of her bike. I say something about how I can just walk to the station, no big deal, and she reassures me that it's fine. My legs interfere with the pedals for the first bit, but I learn to keep them away.

Soon we're out of the park grounds and on the road and everything smooths out. I comment on how much easier it is and she agrees, picking up the pace and letting the wind whip past us. It feels good, and it feels real. It feels like there's nothing else except us, the bike, the road, and the summer night, and I don't have to worry about anything else.

Eventually we near my stop, and she says, "Alright I'm gonna let you off here," but changes her mind and says she'll let me off at the next intersection. Once we get there, she lets everybody else ahead of us know that she's dropping me off, and we slow to a stop.

I thank her and the rest of the team profusely and I bide them goodnight, and for the rest of the night, things don't seem that bad.

Thank you.