I'm Sorry.

I'm Sorry

For leaving behind any friends.

For turning away any help or support.

For being a jerk.

For continuously arguing with you.

For not thinking about elementary school friends.

For continuously blogging.

For being so vague.

For being so depressing.

For being such a fake.

For not saying hello to you in the hallways anymore.

For looking for other friends.

For being a drama queen/king.

For so many things and the countless more to come.

I don't like being sorry, so this is a rare occurrence. I hate owing people. I don't like it when things aren't balanced. Sometimes my friends talk about me on their blogs, but then I don't know if they are or not. It confuses me. Then I get worried because I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. It's conflicting because they don't talk to me, and they don't ask me to change, so that must mean that I'm doing something right. I must have done something right.

It Hurts A Lot.

I didn't think that I complained a lot about my situation. I thought I stayed relatively quiet about it. Am I being overly dramatic? Sometimes I think that I've gotten worse over the years. I hate myself. I love myself. It hurts. You used to respect me. Did you? I can't even tell if you were talking about me, but you had to have been. Who else could it be? Maybe I'm just being conceited. I wish I was. Then that way I could just be embarrassed and laugh it off.

Serves me right if you've lost respect for me. There was never anything to respect anyhow. I feel bad though. That statement makes me feel like I've gotten worse. How is that possible?

I'm not being controlled. I'm not being pressured to do things that I don't want to do. You guys always ask if it was him who forced me to do this stuff. Eventually I had to say yes... right? But I did it. There was no way he could have just forced me to do anything. I did it for me. Myself. I didn't do it for any one of you guys. I didn't do it for anything else except for myself. I want this. Stop thinking I'm so stressed out, because I'm not. In reality you are stressing me out more than anything else. Just god, stop.

Talk to me. Don't write a blog post about the whole thing. I hate that type of stuff. So that means I hate this post. Figures. I do anyways. There's just so much stuff going on.

Night.

What else can you expect? 2. Feeling like crap.

"When you can't sleep at night, it's because you're awake in someone else's dreams." - Unknown