I Can't Put Everything Into Words
My life is now a complex swirl of intensified feelings, emotions, thoughts, and it just makes me want to scream because everything is just trapped inside me and I can't say anything because if I do then it's revealing myself and because these feelings involve the people I want to talk to most about this, and holy, this has been a long run on sentence. There are so many things that I want to this this person, and other things I want to tell another person, but if I do, then I feel like I'm making a mistake.
All of this is just stuck inside of me and it's no use to try to pry it out of me because if it is, then I will surely break because everything that I'm thinking is just so useless and stupid and there's no point. Sometimes I wish that you didn't have to keep anything to yourself and that everything was just out for people to see.
The funny thing is that I try to maintain balance and order on the outside and even enforce it at times when I'm around other people.
Carnival Was A Success (Surprise)
From my point of view, I actually thought that the carnival would have been largely unsuccessful, but it actually had a pretty big turnout. While I had a whole different thing planned out in my mind, the whole event (at the end) was considered a success and I'm sure that the majority of people had a good time at some point of the carnival.
Me? I had a good time. Definitely at the sumo wrestling, and even handing out hot dogs and juice boxes was kind of fun. I'm happy that this event happened, because it's the first time we have ever hosted an event this big at Alpha since I came. Anyhow, just wanted to fill you guys in on that.
Terrible Horrible Infatuation.
Infatuation is a terrible and horrible thing. It blinds your distinction between actual love and infatuation. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. My idea of love is now so disfigured that I think anything is true love.
So I'm infatuated with this one girl I don't even know. Thanks. Goodbye. I'm an 8 today.
"My sun sets to rise again." - Elizabeth Barrett Browning
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Kev, I think you should just let it be. Don't think too much about if it's infatuation or true love. Maybe it hasn't been decided yet. Enjoy it, embrace it.
ReplyDelete-AnonAcquaintance
You're still young. Don't worry or stress yourself so much. Take a breather once in a while, to calm your mind.
ReplyDeleteInfatuation perhaps to me, it's nothing but a little "oh this person APPEARS to be really...amazing?" but you don't happen to know anything about them. You can see them everyday and fantasize about them but it's different from love.
Love is quite more emotional. To be in love, you will want to stay up and talk to them. You kinda want to know more about them. You know them to some degree and you really care about them. It's when you know a person and you can't stop thinking about little things about them. Those things that you like or talk to them about, they make your heart thump.
Infatuations are temporary but love is a long term thing. I hope that can help you think about it a little.
You will figure things out, you're a smart guy. If you ever need some guidance, anon is here.