300's A Party

My Extremely Bad Introduction To What Will Be An Extremely Bad Post.

*Gulp* The day has finally come when this blog has amassed 300 posts. When I originally started this blog, I had the intention of keeping it to myself for future references, but as I continued to blog more and more, I realized that my life has no meaning without another person. So writing it down for myself wouldn't really make sense would it?

See? Told you that this would be a bad introduction. Oh well. Here we go.

People Have Their Characteristics

Not too long ago, I was being scolded for being disrespectful to my grandma. Essentially what happened was that I got in a fight with my parents and aunt and I just left the house to go clear my head. I didn't tell my grandma (or anybody for that matter) where I was going, and in that way I was being disrespectful (and I accept that).

So I was getting scolded and finally I couldn't just let the person rain down on me, so I kind of just said, "Maybe I'm a bad person." I had never thought of it that way, but maybe it was true. Every time I get in trouble for doing something (not taking proper care of my grandma, coming home late), I always assume that it was just a mistake and that next time I will get it right. But have I ever considered the possibility that... maybe I'm just a bad person?

This is not a pity party. It's simply a train of thought. I have continued life without any change after the scolding (as I typically do), so nothing is wrong. I'm just now thinking about how people have their good and bad characteristics. Me storming out of the house? Definitely a bad part of me. But there are some good things about myself, and maybe I just truly show my bad side when I'm around my family... Which leads us to the next part.

Oh, by the way, I just picked a really random image because I needed one.

Sense Of Family.

I have a really bad sense of family. I don't really spend any time with my family members, and I don't feel a particularly strong bond with any members of my family. So that's why I'm always kind of hesitant to have people meet my family, because I honestly don't really feel like a family.

Then again, it's not like I want to fix this. I'm completely fine with the way things are right now. It's just that I get scolded a lot because I don't take good care of my grandma, but maybe it is because I don't know family. It feels like everybody expects a whole bunch out of me, and I try to do that, but throw on family and academics and social relationships, and I have no idea what the hell to do. I'm not like those people who can miraculously balance all those aspects of life.

Expectations

There are a lot of expectations on me. Sometimes I feel like just screaming when another is added, because really, I cannot handle it. I don't like the way I'm rushing by courses in high school. I don't like the way how I have to adapt to new study habits. I just don't like how it seems like everybody expects this standard out of me, and every single day I have to comply, no matter how tired I am.

Yeah, yeah, I get it. Some people have much larger workloads, and they're still able to shoulder it. But I cannot. That's the problem. It's like I'm constantly hating everything around me little by little, even if it isn't anybody's fault.

Just Had To Get It Off My Chest.

Yeahhh... so this was the post that you've been waiting for. That's it...

I am an 8 today. I might write a game review for a game I recently finished (it's short, so don't worry). Until next time. Thanks for reading.

"I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed." - Michael Jackson