Mind Numbing.

It's Paradise.

Heaven. Bliss. I love it whenever I do something mind numbing. It takes my mind off all the things that are going on, and I can just focus solely on the single task that I'm given. Lining for volleyball. Difficult problems in chemistry. Late math homework. Intense P.E. class. All of those are just so mind numbing because you don't have to think about anything else. I hate thinking about her and her and her and maybe even her. It's like the whole day I'm holding in my breath and the only times I can breathe are when I am doing something that requires my attention 100%.

I like Wednesdays. It means the week is half over. It means nearly 5 hours of doing nothing but standing on a line and calling ins and outs for a volleyball game after school. It means that when I get home, I can feel good about myself because I was able to get through another day. Sure I might get a bit down because I got into a fight with a friend, but when I tuck myself into bed at night, I can breathe happily and freely.

Mood Swings

Hooray for mood swings eh? They're good and bad at times (obviously), but they're a real inconvenience. You don't have any justification for mood swings, so there's really no excuse for suddenly snapping in front of your friends. But it's nice because sometimes you're at a high. You get this vibe going on, because a string of a good events just occurred, and you can't help but feel that things will be better from here on out.

Then one bad thing, even one slightly bad event. And snap. You break. Depressed. Gloomy. Melancholic. Dismal. Dreary. So many synonyms for sad. More good things happen and then you're back at your fake high, and then, well. The whole thing repeats, in this cycle that constantly tears and adds to you. It can't possibly be healthy for your emotional self.

I've Spilled Everything That I Can

I'm not willing to tell you anything deeper than what I've told you about the four hers. That's reserved for either another time, or never. Probably the latter. Kind of stupid of me right? Four. That's four too many already. Wait. The last one is a maybe. I don't know. All of them might be maybes.

Oh well. That's it for tonight. I'll catch you later in the next post though. I'm an 8 today. What are you (as my grade six teacher used to say, that's a rhetorical question)?

"He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." - Friedrich Nietzsche