Fear.

What A Great Topic And Time.

It's funny how the topic of fear rolls around in my head on the day just before Halloween. I'll probably regret posting today (since this post likely ensures the one tomorrow will be very bad), since I'm liable to lose all of the "amazing" and "intriguing" thoughts that are inside my head right now. So, let's get started shall we?

Fear. People fear things. But what happens once you... lose fear? What happens if you fear nothing? In this case, I will be writing about the fear of death. People fear death. They are afraid of life. After considering why people fear death, I've come up with my conclusion that people do not want to die because life has value for that person. So that means when somebody loses the value in their life... they are not afraid of dying? Maybe that person is afraid of the pain that may or may not arrive with death, but that person is not afraid of dying.

Whenever I think about death it's a scary thing. I have not had to experience the agony of somebody else dying, setting aside my hamster Fluffy, who unfortunately passed away a few years ago. But besides that, I don't know what death is like, and I'm fortunate for that. However when I do think about death it's typically about myself. I wonder what it's like to be dead. Sometimes I wonder if I'll end up in Heaven or Hell. Maybe I'll be reincarnated into a Japanese school girl (first thing that popped into my head when I thought about reincarnations). Death will come at some point of my life. I'm sure of it. And even if there is a way to stay eternal, I would still like to die at one point.

I'm sure everybody wonders how life will be without them. I myself wonder what life would be like, provided that I was never born and never existed. Then I try to envision a world without me, but this time, I have made whatever little impact on this world. Once I hit this realm of thought, I start branching out into thinking about parallel universes and realities, but that's a whole different spectrum of ideas.

Something About This.

First of all, this is not a game review. Not at all. I don't want any hate or criticism for me playing this game either. It just... helps for some reason. So the game I have in mind is a relatively small and unknown game called Heartache 101. I can already hear all the groans and sighs of disappointment.

Anyhow, I picked this game up last night and found that I couldn't stop playing. Essentially the game is about a high school boy (who you are playing as) who makes a deal with his friend (who of course is a girl) to see who can get a partner the quickest. The time limit is 101 days and if you and your friend do not have a partner (or both have one), then there is no consequence.

Basically the game acts like a board game visual novel. Essentially you go through each day (represented by a board with events on it) and eventually you start picking out the one from the various stereotypes of girls that you meet.

Before this starts sounding like a review, I will turn away from the game (if you wanted to try it to see what type of crazy thing I'm talking about, click here) and talk about how it is affecting me. What I enjoy about Heartache 101 is that it takes my mind off my life because I can pretend that I'm living another life. While people may shun me for hiding and running away, I somewhat needed this kind of game. It kind of comforts me because (to me) it's compensating for the lack of a life that I've had for the past bit.

I finished it today. I might just play it again.

Happy Early Halloween

I don't know what I'm going for tomorrow. Unfortunately my idea to go as a rabbit/dog ended up in my mind too late and it's is much too late to order a Japanese school girl uniform and a wig now (I'm pretty sure I'd be able to pull that off, although the school probably wouldn't permit it anyways). I'll probably just go as something lame (I don't even want to go as anything, but council calls).

Don't know what to do for the remainder of the night. This blog post took up some of the time, so I'm happy. I'm a 6 today, if you were still wondering.

"Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets." - Arthur Miller