Perception

Perception Against Meaning: Which One Means More?

A lot of the times when we say something, we have a different meaning behind it, but the receiver perceives it differently. Lately whenever I'm meaning to give thanks to somebody in my household, I've had the urge to say it in Japanese instead of Chinese (you can thank anime influence for that). The thing is, I kind of have more meaning behind the Japanese term than the Chinese term. Maybe it's because the Chinese thank you is just another word that slips effortlessly out of my mouth and doesn't mean much to me, whereas the Japanese thank you is actually something I'm intrigued with, because it's new and it takes more effort to say it.

I'm quite sure that my family members enjoy hearing the Chinese version, since they don't even know what I'm saying, assuming I've said the Japanese form, but then that leads me to the question that I've mentioned in the heading. Which one means more? My meaning behind my words, or the way my family perceives what I'm saying? I enjoy expanding my Japanese vocabulary little by little every time those words in anime become more frequent and have more meaning to them, so I personally believe that this is somewhat beneficial to me.

Nostalgia.

This word was first introduced (or explained) to me a long time ago, by a very good friend of mine. He was talking about how he felt "nostalgic" for Minecraft Alpha and I didn't know the definition of the word yet. So he taught me a bit about it, and to this day I still get what nostalgic means by remembering what happened that day.

Do I feel nostalgic for my days in elementary school? It feels like everything that is happening to me is just pressing down and squishing me, so it'd be natural if I wanted to just take a step out and breathe freely for a bit. But I wonder if I felt that way (carefree) in elementary school. Maybe I was just worried about different things that seemed big to me at the time, but now probably are very small problems compared to my current ones. If I was able to go back and just relive grade seven, I would.

What Do I Want?

I don't know. By the time I figure it out, it's always too late. There probably isn't a solution to this problem, but then again, I've just been accepting things passively lately. I might have just tried to hard to fight back and rebel against things in the past and now I've kind of just given up. For sure it makes things much easier on me, but then again, I've given up.

I am done for today. It was a good day overall and I've cheered up considerably from last night (thank you for sticking with me in my bad times). However there are still problems floating around in the air, so I'm slightly lower than what I usually am. But I'm still a 7 type of person today.

"Faith is taking the first step even when you can't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.