January 2019

This month flew by really quickly and if time keeps passing like this I will be done uni before I know it (admittedly that's terrifying). Every day has been different and special in some way and I hope that trend will continue into February and onward. There were a lot of different things happening, but here are the major elements of my January 2019.


UBC eSports Association

By far this month saw more participation and time dedicated to the club. One of my favourite things about our president is the work she puts into setting up casual dinners for our executive team. Those dinners have helped me come out of my shell and become drastically more comfortable with other members of the team. I also started taking more shifts watching over the gaming lounge, which combined with the nights out make up most of my involvement with the club.

More importantly though, my mindset and attitude about the UBC eSports Association changed. I have become complacent with my contributions to the group and I believe that I can be doing much more. The League of Legends community does not feel as alive as it should be for a school of our size, and I used to pin blame on the community for not coming out to the events when I should have been criticizing myself. How can I blame the people for not wanting to go to events they don't like?

With this current understanding I hope to strengthen my resolve and reignite my passion of improving the League of Legends community. Even now I am thinking, "I'll leave it to next year, this year is done for," but I remind myself of this proverb: The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.


Off-White

One important part of my growth was learning how to be single. For obvious reasons I struggled with the absence of a partner during the months (year maybe?) after my breakup, but the effects resonate to this day. Up until very recently (two weeks ago) I had this notion that I was a relatively attractive partner. I was confused as to how my romantic life was somehow more dull than the off-white walls of my room.

At some point I thought, "Well if people aren't attracted to me, then it's probably me." Just out of the blue. My theory is that I tried way too hard to make myself seem like a good partner, but to be honest I can't even say this with conviction.

So I am going to do what has always worked for me - stop worrying about it. I'm less than halfway through my time at university. I shouldn't worry about it so I won't. One might call this running away, maybe it is, but to me the act of actively restraining my behaviours is tackling on the problem head on.


16Personalities

An idea I had for these monthly summaries was to do the 16Personalities test when I write them and compare how I change over the year. While the test is not entirely accurate, it does give a rough gauge of one's personality. I'm looking forward to seeing if any cool changes happen and I hope you are too!

Historically I have been a mediator more often than not, but I was surprised to see this result after January. I feel like I changed a significant amount this month, especially in my understanding of how others viewed me. Though it is the pilot month so we will have to wait another month before the fruits of our efforts are revealed.

Things to improve and honourable mentions

Dude my dedication and discipline regarding school sucks.

People around me are seriously smart and I need to work hard to catch up. That's all (well not for what I need to improve, but this glaring issue of mediocre academic performance needs to stop).

Honourable mentions for significant parts of January: ultimate intramurals have started up again and it helps so much with my physical and mental health, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse was really good, not having morning classes is bliss, and there may or may not be a podcast next time you visit here :)

See you all in Feburary.

The First Step of 2019

I've had trouble thinking about what to do for the first post of the year but it's already 10 days into 2019 and I don't have any concrete plans so we're going to play this by ear :)

Kevin's Might-Definitely-Do Goals for 2019

Good chance things will be added onto this list as the year goes on

1. Write a monthly summary for each month

Recently I have been getting caught in this mindset that negative events will have extremely lasting effects, regardless of how trivial the happening may be. I neglect to look at the bigger picture and let that one thing adversely affect me even though it will likely be nothing more than a blip in less than a month. For that reason I think this goal will help me look at everything in perspective and benefit my mentality.

2. Pass my road test and get my N

Kevin strikes back in a second attempt to get his driving rights. Stay tuned for more.

3. Start working out and eating better

I want to feel good about the way I look and I would like for my health to be better in general. 

4. Achieve over 90% in a course

I assume that I will achieve similarly on the majority of the exams for this course if I reach this goal, so no need to put down "Achieve over 90% on an exam" :)

5. Go on co-op or start the process of doing so

There is some training and the actual process of searching for an employer, so I will consider this done if either of those are started.

6. Make the trip to Japan!

My original plan was to go on a Japan trip in the summer of my first year but things obviously didn't pan out that way (not that I'm upset about that, rather it ended up being the opposite). Hopefully this will be the year!

7. Start and finish a substantial coding project
Whether it be through a hackathon with others or in my free time by myself I want to create something that is useful and well-made.


My 2019 so far

With new classes and new people every day has been exciting and I feel this renewal of energy within me. I genuinely enjoy the content that is being taught in all of my classes and I am excited to see what's in store for the future.

One thing I want to improve about myself is my attitude towards school. I want to look at assignments, quizzes, exams, and all that as challenges and opportunities to improve myself, as opposed to things I dread. I didn't write this goal above because there isn't an end point or tangible line to cross - it is a continual process. So far things have been going along well and I hope that I will be able to persevere when things get more difficult.

Something surprising that I discovered about myself is how comfortable I am being alone. In the past few months I've eaten at restaurants by myself, just whenever I get cravings or am out running errands. In the Lower Mainland it's pretty acceptable to have a meal by yourself (not that I know how it is in other environment) so me doing so isn't groundbreaking, but I am still happy that I do it.

I think I am also slowly, but surely, getting closer to my friends. I've always thought that your closest friends have to be people who you connect with immediately and spend all your time with, but upon second thought I see that I am wrong. Those deep and complex friendships I so long for may just come from friendships like the one I have now - they just need more time and love as they grow.

Looking forward to 2019.