Summertime Sadness

No, Not The Song

I'm not talking about the song by Lana Del Rey (it freaks me out honestly), but if you were looking for that, you can still find it here and add another view to the 70 million or so views the video has. If you're not looking for that song (or you were looking for the song and some other form of summertime sadness), then read on.

A lot of my friends have seemed really down lately. It feels like these people realize that it's a low point of their life and I'm glad that some of them express in it in their blogs because then I know how to approach that person better (also their ideas spark new ones for topics in my posts). Summertime sadness seems to hit everybody at one point of their life and most low points seem to occur during high school because that's when we are most aware of them. We focus on these low points and on nothing else. As I've said before, it's like you drive into a ditch and then you furiously try to drive yourself out, but only unsuccessfully dig yourself deeper into the ditch.

Relationships

After only a year in high school, I've seen plenty of relationships start. The first few days you and your "significant other" are everything and anything that people talk about. The two of you adore each other and spend every moment possible with each other. Eventually you start talking to other people and distance yourselves a bit.

Then start the doubts. That's the problem with most high school relationships. Doubt. A healthy relationship won't last if there is doubt in it. That's why most high school relationships don't last. They're just something that you do to get the experience. Doubt kills couples. Always has, always will.

Doubt only grows and thrives on secrecy and soon it eats you inside out. You suddenly don't feel secure about your relationship and ask the other about it, only to provoke him/her. Then you feel insecure about everything, not only your relationship. And then you break. Whether it's mutual, or you did it, or the other did it, the end result is two broken people.

It's always the hardest after a break up. You're broken and you're looking for your other half. You feel pangs in your heart whenever you see the other. It doesn't mean you still love the other person, but you feel awkward and embarrassed. Everything you had to do with the person, memories, chats, all of it disintegrates and soon it seems like it was never there.

But it gets better. You fall in love with other people and slowly forget your past.

Eventually that person just becomes another face in the crowd. You don't value his/her opinion or friendship as much as you used to. You think about how stupid you were in picking that person and smile because now your heart is healed and available to others to love.

You're wrong though. Scars. They stay there forever, causing your heart to droop like a wilted rose. You think about what if you had stayed in that relationship. Where would you be? You regret. You feel the loss and pain. Suddenly you want to be in a relationship with that person, just to give it one more shot, but you know that you just can't bring yourself to it. You fall into despair because you thought you were done with the other, but maybe you aren't. Maybe you never will be.

However there is hope. Scars fade. They don't hurt as much as they used to, but they still hurt. You can live with that though. People will love you in the future. They will see those scars and the burden that you carry on your back. The cowards will run away because they want to love somebody without scars and luggage, but the people who truly love you will smile, ask you where and how you got your scars and help you carry your luggage.

High school relationships. We drive blind and stupidly into them, in a futile race to grow up and end up crashing.

But hey, that's my opinion on this. You believe whatever you believe. This is what I think. I might be wrong, I might be right, or a mixture of both, but in the end, it just comes down to what you and I think.

First Impressions

I had a whole bit written on first impressions and how some people in my school just seem really ignorant and kind of just have a negative charisma, but I scrapped it because it didn't sound right (especially coming from me). I was kind of channeling out my personal feelings and beliefs about these people, and I figure that others may have really opposed my opinions, so I deleted the whole thing.

I'm really sorry about the plain text-only images. They were quickly made by me just because I felt like this post was too long to not have any images. So I had to make-do with these. I'll try to find relevant images next post. I'm an 8 today. Thank you for inspiring this post. You know who you are.

"A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing." - Geroge Bernard Shaw