RTM (Week 3): Importance

It's been a while since the last Real Talk Monday post, and maybe this unexpected (or maybe expected, who knows?) post will make you even the tiniest bit happier. Don't misunderstand, I have been trying to push out a RTM lately, but every time I start, I always find a reason to quit. But it's been a whole month since the last installation, so I figure that it's about high time that I get around to finishing one of these posts. Here you have it folks, RTM Week 3: why I feel unimportant.

Maybe it's the just ever so slightly pessimistic mood. It could also be the lack of achievement lately, and if anything, underperformance in multiple areas. You could also go out on a limb and say that it's just a phase, but ultimately, I feel pretty low and insecure right now. Few things carry value to me, and it is getting increasingly more difficult for me to get through the week.

But this post isn't about all that stuff. This post is branching out on one of those areas, which is my latent insecurity.

It's not anything major, simply a lack of confidence. There's been a bad streak lately and naturally, I feel worse about myself. I've been looking to more people for assurance that they care and that they value me highly, because at this point, it doesn't seem that way. However I have found some positive reinforcement by trying to justify my emotions with the fact that others also are this way, and that it is natural.

Everything's hard to put into words. It's an obnoxious and hateful ball of emotions that keeps lashing out and biting me. My vocabulary suddenly seems to disappear, and I'm left with unsatisfactory words to describe how I am feeling. Actually, emotions and non-tangible things are always difficult to translate into words.

That's all. You are now free to go. Thanks for visiting.