April 26, 2018

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it just feels bad you know

i'm confused about my feelings and i don't know how i should act around her

i hate it when i have to be around her, i hate hearing her voice, when did i become so hateful

i'm a liar. i don't hate her voice. i hate how it once called for me lovingly, and now it sounds so foreign

it's all my fault it's all my fault i don't feel real i feel empty now everything is so boring i have no friends who care about me, they all have better friends nobody invites me to anything i want to have somebody to say, let's go out and grab some food, to

she won't let me talk to her but i want to talk to her i want to tell her everything but i don't know how to say it i wish there was a way i could just make her understand what i'm feeling right now

nobody cares about me

everything is fake, i'm fake, my smile is fake my feelings are fake it's all fake

i'm scared it feels so empty

am i going to be like this forever? after this summer it will be a year will i feel this way or will i feel any better or worse

i'm scared that i'll never find another one like her i'm scared that i'll have to settle and that i won't love somebody as fully as i ever did with her

i hate how it feels like everything is my fault but i can't say anything bad about her because then it just makes me look like i'm bitter and an even worse person

why does she matter so much? she shouldn't i have other things to worry about it logically doesn't make any sense so why do i still feel like everything hurts

how do i stop this

i want to feel something i need to feel something something real and something special i have all these raw emotions welling up inside me and i can't tell her, the person i want to hear it the most, i'm going to just blow up and then i'll never have feelings again i'll just pretend that i do

why do i get so sad suddenly? whenever nothing is there to distract me she always comes to take over my mind


Just kidding. I'm so edgy and cool, look at me using only lowercase letters and dissonant sentences. See you next post!

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