I know it's highly unreasonable of me to have such high expectations of my brother, simply because I know he hasn't experienced the things in life that I have.
Let me clarify what happened. Raymond and I got into an argument because he was violating a deal (where if he was silent for a car ride I would play a certain game with him). So after he broke the deal, I said, "Okay, the deal's off." Then he starts whining in the car and starts pissing me off and eventually I make another deal with him, mostly out of pity. On the car ride back, he was supposed to be silent. However, he breaks this again, after "promising" not to break another deal and he starts being whiny again.
The thing is, I expect Raymond to know the things that I have learned, but as I said before at the start, that is unreasonable of me. However, I just can't help but think that sometimes Raymond is incredibly foolish. He doesn't know when to stop when he has lost a fight. He also does not know when to stop when asking for something. I don't mean like he can't stop asking for more of a certain food or something, but when something is given to him, he doesn't accept it. Instead of being grateful and thankful for the gift, he demands for more. An example is when I said I would play with him for 20 minutes. Raymond started whining again and demanded to get 25 minutes. Now he's moping around the house making everybody pissed off.
Raymond just doesn't know when to stop. He has so much to learn. He also has to learn that whining doesn't get you places. You have to work hard and earn to get things.
Earphones, Thank You
Sometimes, when I'm pissed off at myself or somebody or something, I have nothing to take out my anger on. So I take out the anger on myself. I put on a pair of uncomfortable earphones for more or less than half an hour and when I take them off, my ears and pounding and so uncomfortable that I momentarily forget things for a while until they recover.
Thanks to you earphones, I can slip away to a sanctuary of quietness and peace.
I really wish I had something to take out anger on or somebody to explain all my anger to. I miss the people who I can actually talk, explain, and relate to.
My ears are starting to hurt. Awesome (I mean that in a good way, not sarcastically).
Going To Get Ready For Blissful Sleep
The great thing about sleep is that once you slip into it, you fall into a different world. It doesn't matter if your life is really good or just plain bad, you just get into a different world. You have dreams relevant to previous ones, dreams that relate to your day, or just plain old random dreams. When you wake up in the morning from sleep and rub the sleep from your eyes, you momentarily forget everything and just take a while to get your bearings and what you have to do for the day. Two things I love. Uncomfortable earphones and sleep. Include school in that list now to think of it.
I'm a lowly 6 today. I've just got some weird things running through my mind. I should have really finished my homework, but thanks to my procrastinating self, I'm going to hold it off until tomorrow (and even then, it's still not due for a while). Tomorrow is a day when I get stuff done. Weekends tend to be a lay-back-and-relax period of time and I get incredibly lazy. It's the school days where I'm active and sharp eyed. I need to get my life organized and prioritized. If only it was that easy.
"Pain can be a good thing. It is simple. Pain, if used carefully and in watched doses, can make a person feel better. Much better. Simply because the person just loses sight of everything for a second and can only focus on the pain. It is also effective afterwards, because when you have been hurt enough, everything else seems better." - Kevin Zou
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